Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Vacation's Over

Our poor beleaguered president had to cut his month long vacation short by 2 days. While he had no problem having a good old time playing cowboy in Texas and avoiding Cindy Sheehan while our troops continued to die in a war he sent them to based on lies and dreampt up in a neoconservative think tank, I guess he couldn't justify vacationing while the victims of hurricane Katrina could really use some of his fantabulous speachifying skills to get them through their darkest hours. And speaking of hurricane Katrina, does it really suprise anyone that some loonie fundies are saying that it's god's revenge for abortion?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Republicans: Getting the Government Off Our Backs Yet Again

Yet once again the party who says that they're all about getting the government off our backs is putting the wheels in motion for a major push to tell us what we can and can't watch on TV and listen to on the radio. Ever since Janet Jackson flashed a tit on the superbowl, the FCC has been on the warpath, but now it's getting even scarier. FCC Chair Kevin Martin is up to some serious no-good.
"Though Martin lost the battle over horse extraction, he is now poised to win the broader indecency war. During the long hot summer in Washington, he has been quietly meeting with religious activists and industry leaders to organize a push for new standards for broadcast, cable and satellite television. At the same time, Martin's allies in the Senate have been considering new laws that could increase broadcast indecency fines, break up cable TV offerings to allow parents to cut off racy channels, and -- most controversially -- give the FCC the power to fine basic cable programs, like MTV's 'Real World' and Comedy Central's 'Daily Show,' for crude and lewd content."

So despite the fact that as free Americans we vote on what we find acceptable or offensive with our remote controls, this fucking tool is looking to let a minority of fundamentalist wingnuts tell us what we can and cannot watch.
"In the meantime, Martin, a former White House aide to President Bush, has been meeting privately with evangelical activists to assure them of his commitment to change the television landscape. The government does not regulate shows distributed over cable or satellite television for indecency. Similarly, there are no indecency limits on the content of satellite radio, where shock-jock Howard Stern sought refuge and will begin broadcasting next year. But in one session this summer, Martin told activists that he is privately reaching out to industry leaders to address racy content on basic cable and satellite television, says Rick Schatz, the president of the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, a Christian ministry. 'He said the free rein of cable and satellite and satellite radio is not acceptable,' says Schatz, who sat in on the meeting. 'He's committed to seeing something is done during his tenure.'"

So despite the fact that the FCC was created to police public airwaves, they are now looking to regulate content that we have to purchase over private cables or satelite feeds. This is coming from the party who can't de-regulate business fast enough when it comes to screwing over the consumer and the worker as long as it helps the bottom line. Yet once that vocal minority of religious wingnuts starts telling them what to do, they abandon their own principles of free market capitalism in favor of helping the American Taliban impose their theocratic guidlines on the rest of us.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Ann Coulter Fanfic

What I am about to post is just writing, but most definitely NSFW. A while back, somebody wrote some erotic fiction about everybody's favorite evil right wing fluffer, Ann Coulter. Well apparently now there's a sequel!

Who is disrespecting the troops here?

While there's plenty of talk from the right accusing Cindy Sheehan of aiding and comforting the enemy by demanding Bush to answer some tough questions about his war of choice in Iraq, or of the weekly anti-war protests at Walter Reed Medical Center in DC, we've got a member of the extreme christian right lunatic fringe who is actually protesting the funerals of fallen soldiers. Is he doing it because he's against the war? Nope. He's doing it because he thinks their deaths are god's vengence for people being gay. I wish I was making this up.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Killing the Messenger - Bush Style

What happens when the administration comissions a study and then does not like the results? The head of the department responsible gets demoted, of course!
"...a Justice Department official is being demoted after attempting to publicize findings that police treated Hispanic and black drivers more aggressively than whites during traffic stops."

And speaking of agressive police, did anyone hear about the fully permitted rave in Utah that was busted up by SWAT and National Guard with attack dogs and machine guns a few days ago? While they tried to bust anybody with a camera, at least one piece of video got out, and here are many first hand accounts.

Is this America, or is this a police state? I think this calls for some NWA lyrics...

Fuck tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one
For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics

You'd rather see me in the pen
Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
Beat tha police outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still can't swallow bread and water

I don't know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop

Ice Cube will swarm
On any muthafucka in a blue uniform
Just cuz I'm from the CPT, punk police are afraid of me
A young nigga on a warpath
And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath
Of cops, dyin in LA
Yo Dre, I got somethin to say

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The reviews are in!

"It took President Bush a long time to break his summer vacation and acknowledge the pain that the families of fallen soldiers are feeling as the death toll in Iraq continues to climb. When he did, in a speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Utah this week, he said exactly the wrong thing." NYT

"Bush again conflated Al Qaeda and Iraq, neglecting to note that Al Qaeda put down roots in Iraq only after the invasion or that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11 or Osama bin Laden." LAT

"Imposing democracy at gunpoint in Iraq is looking more and more like a fool's errand." Salt Lake Tribune

So tonight, our "president" will take another break from his vacation and attempt to give another speech safely within red state territory to a military audience. Will he "stay the course" and invoke 9/11 repeatedly despite the fact that nobody is buying it anymore, or will he try something a little different this time? Exploiting 9/11 has worked for him in the past, and with the upcoming 4th anniversary and Donald Rumsfeld's plans for a huge Washington celebration, I would guess that we'll be hearing quite a bit about 9/11 in the upcoming weeks.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Who Would Jesus Assassinate?

We all know that Pat Robertson is not the sort of Christian who preaches peace, love and understanding. When he's not organizing a prayer offensive to have god kill a liberal supreme court justice, or saying that gays are to blame for abortion, he's calling for the assassination of tanother country's president. Is he calling for the assassination of some genocidal African warlord? Perhaps an Islamic despot in one of the 'stans? Is it Kim Jong Il? Of course not. If Pat can sympathize with anything, it's despotism. But apparently straight talk about how trade agreements screw the poor countries, criticism of Bush and US imperialism and giving some power back to the poor people is enough to make a man of god like Pat want to kill Venezuela president Hugo Chavez.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Finally, a candidate that I can get behind

A great man has thrown his hat into the ring for the presidency of 2008. Here's the introductory letter from his website...
To: Friends, Family, and my fellow Americans
Subject: Get America Back On Track!

It's not too early to be thinking about the future of this country and who's going to lead it. Election after election we're given the "choice" between two unappealing candidates and have no choice but to vote for the one we dislike less. But now, that's about to change.

Stepping up to the forefront of politics is a new type of leader, motivated by his love for his country, not special interest groups. His distinct image and captivating voice you already know, and now it's your chance to make him the leader of the people, for the people, by the people. That's right... Christopher Walken is running for President.

Now, at this early stage of the campaign, is when the grass-roots voters like us can really influence the candidates we'll see in the elections. So take a few minutes to visit the Walken 2008 Home Page at, read about the man and his ideas, and send them a message of your support. This is how the system should work, and now's your chance to have your voice. Don't let it slip away!

-A caring citizen

I SO cannot wait to hear him deliver his first state of the union address.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Holy shit!

Via Metafilter: some dude makes his own flame thrower out of stuff from home depot! But he could have just done it with a super soaker.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Remember the Downing Street Memo?

A lot has happened since the leak of the Downing Street Memos and mainstream media's virtual black hole of information about them. There's been a Space Shuttle launch. There's been Plame-gate. There's been a supreme court nomination. There's been steroids in baseball. And there's been Cindy Sheehan in Texas ruining George Bush's vacation and helping make him look like even more of a callous asshole than he could ever do on his own. But we can't forget that there is a paper trail showing that while Bush was telling people that he was trying to avoid war with Iraq, that the war was set to roll and intelligence was being fixed to support it. And now, there's a US State Department document that backs this up. So when oh when do the impeachment hearing begin? This is a little bit more serious than an oval office blowjob.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

When is it OK to desecrate a memorial to fallen soldiers?

When that memorial is in Bush's back yard and when the dessecrator is a republicn redneck! That's right, some hick in Crawford drove his pickup through a bunch of white crosses set up to commemorate the dead in Bush's war. Yet you won't hear any of the right wing squawkers getting all outraged over it. In fact, the right wing commentors on the link above are making every excuse in the book on why this was a perfectly OK thing to do.

Monday, August 15, 2005

The definition of Irony

From time to time, right wingers will lose every last semblance of sanity and drag out the old "you liberals are supposed to be all about tolerance, but you're against this that and the other thing." Funny that the very same right wingers who are trying to outlaw gay marriage, civil rights and the teaching of evolution would even dare to try to call somebody else intolerant, yet every now and then they actually try to use that lame ass argument. Well another San Francisco liberal, Chronicle columnist Mark Morford, wrote this brilliant rant about just that.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

My Cindy Sheehan Post

My wife and I have been in a debate about this whole "Crawford Stand" over the last few days. While I am, of course, rabidly pumping my fist in support of my fellow Californian, one from Vacaville, at that...literally, a cow town in California. How much more American can you get?

Anyhow, my wife, who is morally on the same side, wonders what can be achieved if Chimpy gives in to the polling and meets with Mrs. Sheehan. "What does she hope to accomplish?" My wife asked. "Her son will still be dead."

For what it's worth, I don't think he will ever meet her. And therein lies her victory. This man, this administration, who refuses to let photographs of the American dead circulate among the press, who refuses to release photographs and video of the torture perpetrated under their orders, who refuses to release any documentation at ALL of anything, anything that could hinder their agenda...from Bolton to Roberts, steadfastly REFUSING to give anyone the weapons with which to express dissent...meeting with Cindy Sheehan would be doing just that. It would expose the fact that the Emperor has no clothes. It would reveal to the whole world that the empty platitudes and 10th grade level hyperbole that spills out of this child president's mouth is just that, is just garbage.

While he laughs with his buddies and roars past a grieving mother in a ditch on his way to hang out and party with some fundraisers or take in a little league game, the world's eyes are slowly opening to the true face of evil. It laughs and mocks dead soldier's sacrifices by saying that more must die, because otherwise, what would the point have been? It talks about hard work and staying the course while it relaxes in an environment controlled oasis in the middle of Crawford, playing cowboy.

The quiet courage of Cindy Sheehan, of the Gold Star mothers, of the people slowly arriving to support her...these are the faces of America. They cannot be stopped. They will not hear your doublespeak. Your talking points mean nothing. They want the truth, a truth you are incapable of speaking. They want justice, in the true definition, not your brand of justice where you wipe out hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians and attempt to justify it by repeating the mantra you have befouled, "9/11".

I will tell you what the Bush Administration will do. They will turn their attack dogs on her...Rush, Hannity, Drudge, the usual gang of bootlickers. They will find more relatives who disagree with her. They will find a rabid mom who will rave on FOX that she wishes all of her sons could die for the glorious cause of our wonderful leader. And then, when they've generated enough noise to, in their minds, cover the voice of truth emanating from Camp Casey, Chimpy will slip out of Crawford and on to Air Force One.

One woman versus an entire administration. And she will win.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Fairness and Balancedness all over MySpace!

My Bill O'Reilly character on MySpace is really picking up some steam. Yesterday he ran amok on a couple of republican groups and now there's a whole thread devoted to him. They even wonder about his secret identity. I don't think Myspacers have ever heard of Technorati.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I don't have to meet with anyone while I'm on vacation!

I'm sure many of you have heard about Cindy Sheehan by now. Her son was killed in Iraq and she is currently camped out in Crawford Texas trying to get Bush to meet with her and explain why her son had to die. So while Osama bin Laden still remains free, a grieving mother is being threatened with arrest. And it's not like Bush doesn't take time off from his many vacations to take care of important business like fundraisers or prolonging the suffering of a woman in a vegetative state, but he sure isn't going to take any time out of his leisure time to answer any questions about his war unless it's a staged event with supporters to make him look better. But he doesn't have to do any work when the 101st Fighting Keyboardists are on the job. Instead of fighting his war, they're blogging away and trashing this woman.

And speaking of right wing bloggers, my Bill O'Reilly character on Myspace is still up to no good. Today he posted about how great it was when a guy got shot over an argument about the war, and as of this posting, 2 real right wingers agreed.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Ahhhh, the South

If it was going to happen, you knew it would happen in the South. Two guys get into argument over the war in Iraq. Pro-war guy shoots and kills anti-war guy. You'd think if this guy was so into shooting and killing people and is so for the war, he should be in Iraq instead of Kentucky. I wonder if he'll go to prison or get a job with the Bush administration, since that's the sort of loyalty that Bush holds more important than ethics, integrity or decency.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Screw Abstinence!

Washington State NARAL held a sex-positive hipster fundraiser for real sex education rather than this abstinence only bullshit that the administration is pushing at the request of the fundamentalist lunatic fringe, and as you could only imagine, the fair and balanced journalists over at WorldNet Daily did not like that one bit, nosiree. But one of the most common misconceptions about the abstinence only stuff is that you can't have any fun, but that couldn't be further from the truth. This good upstanding Christian site discusses in detail the sorts of things that you can do while remaining abstinent in the eyes of the lord.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sunday Bloody Sunday, I mean "Justice" Sunday 2: Electric Boogaloo. Since once is never enough, the luminaries of the religious right lunatic fringe are getting together one more time to talk about how God demands an extreme right judiciary. This time around, they've lined up an exciting panel of folks. Fresh from his ethics inquiry, there's Tom DeLay! They've got former "democrat" Senator Zell Miller. They've got right wing "feminist" Phyllis Schlafly! There are not one but two speakers from the Family Research Council. And they've got a bunch of religious dudes and some country singers that I've never heard of. Notably absent: 2008 presidential candidate and the only doctor in America who can diagnose brain death by videotape, Bill Frist. If you can't be there, don't worry. You can pre-order your DVD because this is the sort of thing you're going to want to watch over and over again. (via Freakgirl)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Manifest Density

OK, so here's what I think is hilarious/alarming about Chimpy. In all of our tirades against him and his regime, there's always been at least a little gray area wiggle room, relative truths depending on whether or not you're an intelligent human being or a lizard-brained red stater who thinks that because Bush said it, it must be true. Kind of an Americanized version of the Pope, where no matter what crap falls out of his mouth, he's God's annointed man-child on earth and his word is the word of God. Amen. Must be nice to have that kind of complete disconnect from reality, huh? Anyhow.

Here's what I think the main problem is. When faced with something absolute, where there is no room at ALL for interpretation, something either IS or IS NOT, the boy prince actually thinks that his word can override science. Palmeiro tested positive for steroids. END OF STORY. Yet Bush, in true Christian fashion, thinks that just because he believes something it automatically fucking makes it so.

So, with this kind of bold face bullshit thrown out there, how much longer are the blind going to follow the bland? My CAT read that and said, "Uh...seriously. Come on."

With his approval ratings dropping faster than Slim Pickens riding a bomb (if you listen closely you can actually hear the whistling effect) you'd think that Bush would be a little more careful about what he's saying nowadays, you know, lest he begin to scrape those numbers that invite investigation and/or impeachment...but no, this is the time to get aggressive! Just say whatever the fuck is on your mind! Fuck it!

Then, go on vacation again.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Today's News

Well, we have a recess appointment of an unqualified wingnut to represent our country at the UN, a high level White House Staffer who is quite probably guilty of treason, a paper trail showing that our president lied to get us to war, and a brand new theocratic monarch dictator in Saudi Arabia... but who cares about any of that stuff? Our professional athletes are taking steroids!!!

And for something completely different, there's this.

Monday, August 01, 2005

I've been banned

Well look at this, I've been banned from posting comments at this rightwingnut blog. Why don't you go hop on over here and tell Zeke what you think of the way he makes light of our offshore torture facility at Gitmo?

Looks like somebody's got a case of the Mondays

George Bush has a busy day today. After spending yesterday hanging out with the Boy Scouts and preparing them to go die for him in Iraq, he'll be waking up at the crack of noon today, ready to appoint mustache man to be ambassador to the UN without the Senate's backing. Then he's going to have to work overtime to figure out how to convince the American people that Venezuela is amassing Weapons of Mass Destruction and that we need to fight for regime change there because Hugo Chavez is one of the few politicians willing to tell it like it is about this CAFTA deal. And when he gets back to his TV room in the East Wing tonight after a gruelling 4 hour work day, he'll have to make sure that he has enough episodes of Dukes of Hazard on his TiVo so he doesn't have to watch this.