Thursday, September 29, 2005

Bill Bennet has an idea

Remember Bill Bennet? He's the right wing moralist who lost millions on the slots in Vegas. He's the author of the "Book of Virtues." He's a right wing radio squawker. Oh yeah, and he's batshit crazy and a racist bastard...
"But I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down."

Here's the audio. Here's Bill's contact form.
UPDATE: Here are some of Bill Bennet's advertisers. I'm sure they'd love to hear from you.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Good news from Texas!

Tom DeLay has been indicted for criminal conspiracy, whines that he's a victim of a political witch hunt. He's required to step down as house majority leader while facing his charges. And in news that is certain to really piss off the religious right republican base, DeLay's replacement is Da Gay!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

This is interesting...

Societies worse off 'when they have God on their side'
RELIGIOUS belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today.

According to the study, belief in and worship of God are not only unnecessary for a healthy society but may actually contribute to social problems.

The study counters the view of believers that religion is necessary to provide the moral and ethical foundations of a healthy society.

It compares the social peformance of relatively secular countries, such as Britain, with the US, where the majority believes in a creator rather than the theory of evolution. Many conservative evangelicals in the US consider Darwinism to be a social evil, believing that it inspires atheism and amorality.

I say we teach this new theory alongside "intelligent design."

Monday, September 26, 2005

So Long, Agent 86

Don Adams, R.I.P. It's been a bad month for classic TV comedy losing both Gilligan and Maxwell Smart.

Geneva Convention? We don't need no stinking Geneva Convention!

Ahhh, you've just got to love the Bush Administration! Faced with a bill that would require us to abide by the Geneva convention and not torture people, Bush is all set to veto it.
Sen. John McCain, decrying new allegations of prisoner abuse in Iraq by U.S. soldiers, on Sunday backed an amendment to force the American military to live up to its international obligations under the Geneva Convention and "not engage in torture" of detainees in Iraq and Afghanistan...

McCain, himself a victim of torture while a prisoner during the Vietnam War, made it clear Sunday that he did not believe that the military, including Pentagon leaders, had gotten the message that the United States must obey the Geneva Convention and abstain from torture.

He said he and Sen. John W. Warner (R-Va.), chairman of the Armed Services Committee, along with Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), another committee member, were proposing an amendment to a defense bill requiring the military to abide by the Geneva dictates.

McCain noted too that he wanted prohibitions against torture underscored in the Army Field Manual, which he said "is the document that the Army goes by and the military goes by when in the process of interrogation and treatment of prisoners."

Told that the White House was opposed to such an amendment and that the president might veto the bill if the amendment were included, McCain said he was unsure whether there were enough votes in the Senate to override it.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Jenna's Bush, or lack thereof

Caption this series of photos of one half of the first twins...

"Loud is not right"

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Jeb Bush and his Imaginary Friend

Jeb Bush is clearly insane:
Here are Bush's words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians: "Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

"I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down."

Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

"I'm going to bestow on you the sword of a great conservative warrior," he said, as the crowd roared.

Could that be just part of what is driving his brother to drink again?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

New Katrina Relief Charity

OK, so you really want to donate money to help the victims of Katrina, but you need a little bit more incentive than the goodness of your heart? Perhaps you'd like something a little bit more participatory that really captures the flavor of New Orleans? Check out Boobs for Bourbon Street! You make a donation, and you get to see some naked breasts.

Friday, September 16, 2005

In my inbox this morning

I got the following letter in my inbox this morning and I thought it would be of interest...
Bill Maher's open letter to the president:

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: Take a hint.

Bill Maher

The Reviews are In!

Well, Bush did a little bit of speachifying last night to try to play some damage control for his complete and utter clusterfuck in handling Hurricane Katrina. How did Americans rate his performance this time?
In Houston, a few dozen hurricane refugees watched the speech from the shelter where they were staying near the Astrodome.

Samuel Lewis, 31, questioned why Bush did not act faster and said the president's remarks were empty promises. "He is telling me he is going to rebuild my city ... but what about all the stuff I lost? What about jobs?"

Others agreed the speech was too little, too late.

"I've been in Third World countries where situations of this sort were handled better," said New Orleans resident J.J. Smith, 61, a retired communications specialist for telephone companies who watched the speech in a Baton Rouge, La., hotel bar.

In Detroit, Ralph Simpson, 51, said Bush should have made his comments in the first days after the hurricane hit.

"At that point, words alone would have been significant ... But now it's after the fact, so actions are more important," he said.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Yes, I'm Still Here.

Slammed like crazy, busy busy busy at work...oh, and yeah. We've been having a little difficulty locating RELATIVES WHO WERE IN NEW ORLEANS. Luckily, everyone is OK, although one of the houses is totalled.

Thanks, George, Brownie, Chertoff, et al. Thanks for not listening to what anybody tells you about reality. Thanks for showing us all that you really REALLY don't care...I mean, it's not news to me or anyone I socialize with, but thanks for showing the rest of America, the ones in the south who voted for you? That you don't give a shit about them. Thanks for that. Those nice southern states you've relied on for so long might think twice about voting Republican come next election, especially since you so gleefully let so many of them die. Not be displaced, not lose their homes, DIE.

Spin it any way you want, you're all bastards.

George and Condi Passing Notes

First off, sorry about the lack of posts this week. I've been slammed with all sorts of work lately. In addition to my day job, I have been doing a lot of freelance web design and print ad design (yes, this crappy looking blog is run by a designer. I know. I barely have the time to write this thing let alone make it look cool.) as well as piecing together my video demo-reel. And my co-blogger has not been heard from for weeks (where you at, asterisk???) What with the Roberts confirmation hearings, Bush actually taking responsibility (sort of) for the first time in his life, and with Pat Robertson blaming Hurricane Katrina on Ellen Degeneres, there's been plenty to blog about. But all I've got today is this picture of our president writing a note to our secretary of state while at a UN hearing.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Dr. Ben Marble, you ROCK!

Here's a story about the guy who told Dick Cheney to go fuck himself.
After driving the extra 20 minutes and filming video of destruction along the way, he made it to his home. Marble overheard a neighbor say that Cheney was down the street talking to people. That's when he got the idea to go meet Dr. Evil himself.

"I am no fan of Mr. Cheney because of several reasons," Marble wrote. "For those who don't know, Mr. Cheney is infamous for telling Senator [Pat] Leahy 'go fu** yourself' on the Senate floor. Also, I am not happy about the fact that thousands have died due to the slow action of FEMA, not to even mention the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time, i.e. Iraq."

So Marble asked a couple police officers if he and a friend could walk down to Cheney. They told him Cheney was "looking forward” to talking to “the locals.”

"So we grabbed my Canon digital rebel and my Sony videocamera and started walking down the street," Marble wrote. "And then right in front of the destroyed tennis court I used to play on Dick Cheney was giving a pep rally, talking to the press. The Secret Service guys patted us down and waved the wands over us, and then let us pass."

As he stood about 10 feet away from Cheney and his friend and some camera operators from CNN and other media filmed the scene, Marble suddenly yelled, "Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney! Go fuck yourself, you asshole!"

How to Clean up Katrina? With Cheap Labor, of Course!

We've got a big mess on our hands in New Orleans and it's going to take billions of dollars to clean up. With Bush's war of choice raging in Iraq and hemohaging money, and with tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans, it looks like it's going to be tough to pay for that. But since after all the city is predominantly African-American and the majority of the destruction was in the poorest of neighborhoods, Bush has a suitable plan to help make this reconstruction a little bit cheaper... pay the people less money to reconstruct! It's not enough that Halliburton will be profiting from this disaster too. Noooooo, they need to maximize their profits by shafting the workers. I'll bet anything that the executives in charge of this job will be making the prevailing wages though.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A message to Dick Cheney

Sorry Mac users, I only saw this in Windows Media Format. Somebody delivers a much needed message to Vice President Halliburton.

Why not?

It's no secret that I think religion in this modern age is kind of silly. Sure, it served its purpose back before there was science to explain things, and it has been a great tool for the ruling classes to keep the masses in line. Having this attitude towards religion definitely puts me in the minority, as polling would indicate that religion plays an important role in the lives of most people in the world. Some countries have a fairly hands-off approach, allowing people to worship as they choose without making it a personal matter between the individual and their religion. Other countries are ruled by religion. These are typically some of the worst totalitarian states in the world, just like countries that would ban people from practicing any religion. Then there are countries like ours where some of the most extreme folks from the most extreme branches of one particular religion claim to want freedom yet strive toward complete theocracy and intolerance towards those of other religions. The US would definitely fall into that last category. Under the Bush regime, the wingnut religious right has declared an open season on secularism and against all other religions. Their latest thing is trying to teach "intelligent design" which is their code word for the christian creation mythology, alongside the theory of evolution in public school science classes. But in the name of fairness, if this is to be taught, why not all other creation myths from all other religions? And if they're covering all other religions, why not include the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You may not have heard about this church, but they offer some scientific theories that are just as valid as those put forth by the "intelligent design" crowd. And their heaven with its beer volcano and stripper factory sounds like a lot more fun than a bunch of harp playing sexless angels. While you are exploring this exciting new faith, be sure to play the Flying Spaghetti Monster game where you are the Flying Spaghetti Monster and you must convert as many Pastafarians as you can while avoiding the darkly clad school administrators.

What didn't go right?

Nancy Pelosi met with Bush and urged him to fire FEMA head Michael Brown over what went wrong with the response to Hurricane Katrina. Bush's response... "What didn’t go right?" Now, over the past 5 years, I've grown quite accustomed to our "president" saying some dumbass things, and coming off as an arrogant prick, but this really takes the cake. What didn't go right? It's not like I would expect the guy to take any responsibility for anything since he's never taken responsibility for anything in his entire life. But to put on a straight face and ask "what didn't go right" is like him pissing on the corpses that are still floating around New Orleans waiting to be identified. What didn't go right is that he stayed on vacation for two days while one of our country's most historic cities was being destroyed. It took him 3 days to even say anything about it. It took the government 5 days to start helping while New Orleans turned into swampy anarchic hell. What didn't go right? Apparently, the only thing that didn't go right for the administration is that there was a major national tragedy that they weren't able to exploit for political points this time. But don't worry, when it's time to hold the 2008 republican convention, New Orleans might be rebuilt enough for them to spend a week, hug some poor folks, pretend they like jazz, and enjoy all of the fine adult entertainment establishments.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

FEMA to the rescue!

Suppose you're a highly trained firefighter, dropping everything in your life to head to New Orleans to help out in the search and rescue at the request of FEMA. Then you wind up in Atlanta in a hotel for days with nothing to do, or they actually do send you to New Orleans but only to be props for a George Bush photo op. Is this just another example of the "America-hating liberal media" trying to undermine the efforts of George W. any way they can by "politicizing the tragedy" or "playing the blame game?" Hardly. Even WorldNet Daily is reporting on this, right alongside headlines wondering if Katrina is God's retribution for the Gaza pullout.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Now sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

Once again, it's time to put the politics aside and mourn the loss of a great American. Bob Denver died today. R.I.P. Gilligan. Say hi to the Skipper for us. I'm sure he'll be happy to be reunited with his little buddy. Thanks to TVLand, your screwball antics on that island will live on forever.

Stop Roberts, in the Name of Love

I was away for Labor Day, so as much as I'd love to post a tribute to organized labor, I'm going to need to jump straight into a post about the Supremes. Diana Ross' angelic voice, the harmonies, the classic songs... Oh wait, wrong Supremes. While the classic girl group would be much more pleasant to discuss, it's that black robed gang in Washington with 2 vacancies for Bush to fill that needs discussion right now. The idea that Bush got to replace one justice was bad enough. Replacing a moderate with a far right ideologue who as one blogger said wrote memos that "read like Little Green Footballs comments." But now we've got a chief justice to replace. While the mainstream media will line up to kiss William Rehnquist's dead ass, here's a more accurate portrait of the man...
The young Rehnquist began his legal career as a Republican functionary by obstructing African-American and Hispanic voting at Phoenix polling locations (“Operation Eagle Eye”). As Richard Cohen of The Washington Post wrote, “[H]e helped challenge the voting qualifications of Arizona blacks and Hispanics. He was entitled to do so. But even if he did not personally harass potential voters, as witnesses allege, he clearly was a brass-knuckle partisan, someone who would deny the ballot to fellow citizens for trivial political reasons -- and who made his selection on the basis of race or ethnicity.” In a word, he started out his political career as a Republican thug.

Rehnquist later bought a home in Vermont with a restrictive covenant that barred sale of the property to ''any member of the Hebrew race.”

Rehnquist’s judicial philosophy was result-oriented, activist, and authoritarian. He sometimes moderated his views for prudential or pragmatic reasons, but his vote could almost always be predicted based on who the parties were, not what the legal issues happened to be. He generally opposed the rights of gays, women, blacks, aliens, and religious minorities. He was a friend of corporations, polluters, right wing Republicans, religious fundamentalists, homophobes, and other bigots.

When Bush announced John Roberts' nomination to replace Sandra Day O'Connor, the reaction was not great because the guy is clearly a conservative activist, but there are far worse conservative activists that could have been chosen. And blocking a nominee is going to be pretty damn tough, so if they're going to do it, it's got to be for a really bad nominee. But now Bush has decided to nominate him as chief justice which raises a few more red flags. Sure, it's a bit of a relief since my original assumption would be that Bush would have tapped Scalia to rise to the chief seat, but is this really that much better? This guy has a total of 2 years of experience as a judge, the bulk of his career working behind the scenes for republican administrations. And the Chief Justice has far more powers than just a single vote. They have to run the entire judicial branch. At least you could say that putting somebody with so little relevant experience to head a major government entitiy is at least consistant Bush behavior. It goes without saying that progressive organizations such as People for the American Way are opposing this nomination, but the smart money will be betting on how quickly this nomination will fly through the senate rather than if it will pass.

And lastly, could this have come at a better time for Bush as his poll numbers are in the shitter over his handling of the destruction of New Orleans? At this rate, Karl Rove won't even have to continue trying to shift the blame away from his vacationing boss and to Louisiana democrats. And have any of you heard a peep about that war that we're in for the last week or so?

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Go Kanye!

So last night NBC had some big star studded benefit concert to raise money for the hurricane victims. Most of these celebs are well trained and stayed right on their scripts. Thankfully, Kanye West wasn't one of those well behaved celebs.
West and Mike Myers had been paired up to appear about halfway through the show. Their assignment: Take turns reading a script describing the breach in the levees around New Orleans.

Myers: The landscape of the city has changed dramatically, tragically and perhaps irreversibly. There is now over 25 feet of water where there was once city streets and thriving neighborhoods.

(Myers throws to West, who looked extremely nervous in his super-preppy designer rugby shirt and white pants, which is not like the arrogant West and which, in retrospect, should have been a tip-off.)

West: I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, "They're looting." You see a white family, it says, "They're looking for food." And, you know, it's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help -- with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!

(West throws back to Myers, who is looking like a guy who stopped on the tarmac to tie his shoe and got hit in the back with the 8:30 to La Guardia.)

Myers: And subtle, but in many ways even more profoundly devastating, is the lasting damage to the survivors' will to rebuild and remain in the area. The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Louisiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

(And, because Myers is apparently as dumb as his Alfalfa hair, he throws it back to West.)

West: George Bush doesn't care about black people!

(Back to Myers, now looking like the 8:30 to La Guardia turned around and caught him square between the eyes.)

Myers: Please call . . .

UPDATE: Crooks & Liars has the video!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush

I've been trying to come up with a post regarding my feelings about how Bush is dealing with Hurrican Katrina. As you may have guessed, I'm not exactly satisfied in the way he handles things like this (or pretty much the way he handles anything). Well, somebody came along and said it better than I possibly could. And that somebody is Michael Moore. Go ahead righties and flame away. I'm sure that you can deny the truth in what he is saying by the fact that he's fat. I'm sure you'll point out all of the places where you think that he lied in his documentaries (the majority of which have been blown out of the water). Please tell us about how he hates America, Capitalism, Jesus and apple pie. Whatever you do, please just keep on ignoring the actual message while you kill the messenger. So, without further ado, here's Mike's open letter to the chimp...
Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.


Michael Moore

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Konservatism for Kids!

Not content just to warp their children's minds with Bill O'Reilly's kids' book, those wonderful folks on the right have put out a children's book to indoctrinate them in the ways of liberal bashing at a nice early age. They claim that this is in response to children's books with liberal bias, but do any of those books actually attempt to teach kids that life is unfair because of conservatives? I think not.

And in other news of right wingnuttery, apparently God brought forth storms and flooding to New Orleans as a pre-emtive strike against the gay mardi-gras.