Friday, September 02, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush

I've been trying to come up with a post regarding my feelings about how Bush is dealing with Hurrican Katrina. As you may have guessed, I'm not exactly satisfied in the way he handles things like this (or pretty much the way he handles anything). Well, somebody came along and said it better than I possibly could. And that somebody is Michael Moore. Go ahead righties and flame away. I'm sure that you can deny the truth in what he is saying by the fact that he's fat. I'm sure you'll point out all of the places where you think that he lied in his documentaries (the majority of which have been blown out of the water). Please tell us about how he hates America, Capitalism, Jesus and apple pie. Whatever you do, please just keep on ignoring the actual message while you kill the messenger. So, without further ado, here's Mike's open letter to the chimp...
Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.


Michael Moore

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Silly libs...
If you are infinitely smarter than the righties, then why do you like Michael Moore? Wow, your claim was easily disproven, as anyone who believes Moore's tripe has to be a total moron.

9/02/2005 11:03:00 PM  
Blogger Liberal Traitor said...

Anonymous, talk to me when you have an actual argument, m'kay.

9/03/2005 08:14:00 AM  
Blogger Morg said...

Well I was hoping for a good debate but how do you show a blind man what truth looks like.

Mochael Moore's "documentaries" have been proven to be farse and manipulative. He has even admitted that his films are more like op-eds than documentaries.

But I can't be too distressed because his hateful propaganda was one of the main reasons that John Kerry is not president, so I say keep the hate speech coming because we could use 4 more years...again.

9/08/2005 07:53:00 PM  

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