Sunday, February 26, 2006

What a week!

Hey folks, I've had quite the week. A week ago today my wife and I had the most liberal baby in San Francisco. She was born with an "Impeach Bush" bumper sticker across her stomach. But seriously, she's freakin' cute and my mind is on more important things than politics. I don't even know what's going on other than something about a port deal and more people getting killed in Iraq. I'll get back to that stuff eventually, but for now here's something that those of us on both sides of the aisle could agree upon, the world is a less happy place without Don Knotts in it. Don't miss his final performance.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

More Dick Jokes

Somebody made a really great flash video for Cheney's Got a Gun!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

What Happens in Abu Ghraib Stays in Abu Ghraib

Ever wonder what ever happened to the guys from Devo who didn't go on to score films like Mark Mothersbaugh? Well Gerald Casale is now Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers and this is the video for his new song "Army Girls Gone Wild." Besides the obvious political message, it's a great song and a really cool video.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

And Today's Dick Cheney Shooting a Guy in the Face Post...

Yes, it's day 3 of the Dick Cheney's Hunting Accident-palooza here at San Francisco Liberal. Ladies and gentlemen, Jon Stewart...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

More fun at Dick's Expense

But first, a shoutout to my new blog renter, Mark's World, a great blog about politics, life and soccer from a liberal English perspective. Give him some blog love by clicking that featured blog link on the right.

Now, on the the cavalcade of Dick jokes! This one came in my email this morning, I have no idea the original source:

February 12, 2006


Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says

Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on "faulty intelligence."

"I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters. "Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted 'Cheney, you bastard' did I realize that this intelligence was faulty."

Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president's attack because, in his words, "I was in Pakistan."

An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't Jack Abramoff."

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent "a strong message to terrorists everywhere."

"The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you," Mr. Bush said.

Elsewhere, aviator Steve Fossett completed his three-day journey around the globe, setting a world record for wasting both time and money.
Then there are two other quick tidbits:

Monday, February 13, 2006

Somebody Had to Do it...

...might as well be me.

But I'm not the only one. When somebody like Dick Cheney fucks up and shoots a guy, people on the internets are pretty quick to come up with stuff. Here's a quick roundup...

The Most Dangerous Game

We all know Dick Cheney is an avid hunter. Remember that hunting trip he went on with Antonin Scalia a while ago? Well, I don't know if Dick had any members of the judiciary that he needed to butter up with him this weekend, but he sure did nab himself a big one! Yep, that sharpshooting VP of ours bagged himself a 78 year old lawyer! Since it was the lawyer's fault for getting shot, Dick quickly gutted him, drank the blood from his still beating heart, and had the head mounted on his wall of his office in the Old Executive Office Building. Not a bad shot for a guy who was too busy to go fight the war in Vietnam that he supported so much.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Quit Monkeying Around!

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am not particularly dogmatic in my liberalism. There are definitely a few spots where my personal philosophy diverges from what people may expect of me based on political labeling and whatnot. Possibly the biggest part of what has been attributed to all liberals which I take major exception to is the concept of political correctness. While I don't think that it's some heavilly orchestrated leftist conspiracy to force people to think a certain way (at least not since the oppressive climate on some college campuses circa the early 90's), I do think that certain groups and individuals have really run amok with it making the rest of us liberals look kinda lame. So what's the latest outrage, you ask? Just one of my favorite childern's books, now a major motion picture voiced by Will Ferrel, Curious George. Apparently, it teaches kids imperialism and animal cruelty. Give me a fucking break! Those books were written over 50 years ago, for crying out loud! They're fun! There were always consequences to little George's curiousity. So he was plucked out of Africa by an evil white man in a yellow hat and was able to smoke a pipe and go all Hunter S. Thompson on an ether binge. None of that is as offensive as some of the WWII era Bugs Bunny cartoons and their portrayal of the Japanese (which despite their offenses were damn funny anyway). I hate it when I have to agree with a right wing blogger about anything, but nothing pisses me off more than a lack of a sense of humor, and few people are as humorless as the PC police.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Protest This

So while the Middle East demonstrates their sense of humor by burning down embassies over a fucking cartoon, why not throw a little gasoline on the fire with this? Muslims of the world, consider that you're alienating the only people in the West who have defended you by saying that your entire religion should not be blamed for the actions of your lunatic fringe by demonstrating your intolerance for free speech. Your freedom to practice your religion ends where the free speech of others begins. This comment on Metafilter pretty much sums up how I feel about all of this:
Religion, all religion, needs to be mocked in a free society, for the embarrassment it is. Religion deserves freedom, but it doesn't deserve "respect", quite the opposite. And the more backwards and insane the adherents of any religion are, the more they demand that unbelievers have to respect their tiresome idiot beliefs, the more those beliefs deserve to be mocked. This just isn't for Muslims, the more Jerry Falwell, George Bush, etc. demand we all pay lip service to their ugly superstitions, the more necessary it becomes that South Park and Kevin Smith and Andres Serrano and Marilyn Manson and Richard Dawkins, etc, etc, step up their campaigns to mock and denigrate these outdated beliefs.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Innocent Have Nothing to Hide

Monday, February 06, 2006

Welcome to a new blog renter

Hey folks, let's all give a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to my latest blog renter, On the Left Tip. It's the nicely designed, well written and informative political blog of RenaRF, another "proud member of the 49% who voted for John Kerry." Please give her some blog love by clicking on that thumbnail in the right hand column. I would also like to recommend her blog as a place to get your fix of good lefty politics while I'm out having a baby. She could be arriving any day now, and on top of that I'm switching jobs within the next two weeks, so there's going to be a great deal on my mind that does not involve writing political snark online. But don't worry, I'll be around as much as I can. Bringing a child into the world really ups the urgency for making sure Bushco doesn't fuck this country up much more than they already are.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Muslims need a sense of humor

So apparently the entire Muslim world is all in a tizzy over some political cartoons featuring their prophet, Muhammad. We anti-war liberal types are constantly trying to say that the religion of Islam is not the problem, it's just their most extreme fundamentalist wingnuts who are killing for it who are the problem. You folks who are getting your panties in a knot over cartoons are not exactly helping our case here. Instead of this ridiculous outrage, you should feel that the world is finally catching up with you and taking your religion seriously enough to make fun of it. Every other religious figure in the world has been caricatured in one way or the other. Congratulations. You're sitting at the adult table now. Are we supposed to treat you like children because your most conservative wingnut element might try to kill us? Fuck that shit. Stop taking yourselves so damn seriously. Retaliate with a funny cartoon about Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Krishna or L. Ron Hubbard for cryin' out loud. Just stop being such fucking crybabies! You don't want to go back to the kids' table, do you? Jeesh!

PS. I've seen plenty of news stories about this, but not the actual cartoons. If anyone has a link, please post it in the comments. Thanks.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

This is how you do it, Cindy

Cindy Sheehan, you had a golden opportunity to embarass Bush during his great speechifying event, but you went and got yourself arrested way too early. Here's what you should have done... BE INCONSPICUOUS at least until the speech starts. Sitting there in an anti-war t-shirt is the perfect way to let these goons know that you're that lady who's been pestering the president all these months. You should have just sat quietly until the speech started, waited until the idiot took a pause to try to think of the right word to say or to listen to Karl Rove on his earpiece or whaterver, and then you throw off your overshirt, stand on your chair and yell out "how many more have to die because of your goddamned lies you dumb son of a bitch," and then get arrested for disorderly conduct. I would much rather wake up to read a headline like "Bush Heckled at State of the Union Address" than "Sheehan Arrested Before State of the Union."