San Francisco Liberal

Hi and bye

2006-07-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been over a month since I've posted anything here. Fred says I should pack it in and just close this blog up. Part of me thinks that's not such a bad idea, but I'd hate to lose all the stuff I've posted here and I'm just too ~~lazy~~ busy to go and copy it all. So what has been keeping me from doing the political blogging thing these days? Well for one I am completely burnt out on politics. I still follow it and there have been things lately that have angered me (pretty much anything coming out of the White House), thrilled me (Joe Lieberman being bitchslapped accross Connecticut for being a Bush stooge), relieved me (no flag burning amendment this time, fuckers!) and filled me with schadenfreude (so long, Kenny Boy). But I'm just not finding myself giving enough of a shit to warrant writing about it. ALso, my new job does not afford me the luxury of daily hours of slack time. The upside of being very busy all the time at work is that there's less boredom. The downside is not being able to keep up with a lot of things. By the time I get home, I've got about an hour before we put the baby to bed and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. And by the time she's in bed, dinner is eaten and housework is done, all I really want to do is veg the fuck out.

So don't expect a whole lot from this blog. I may post something randomly from time to time, or not. I don't see any point in taking it down, so I'll be leaving it up just for people who are doing searches for things like "Ann Coulter Fanfic" or "Bush Aristorcrats."

They Obviously Forgot the Rules

2006-05-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

So apparently a bunch of silicon valley geeks have started up their own Fight Club. They seem to have the right idea but there are a couple of things definitely wrong with how they're going about it. First and foremost is that the first and second rules of Fight Club are that YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB! That includes talking to the press, guys. And what's with the use of foreign objects? And if you've gone and blabbed to the press about Fight Club, how the hell is it going to be able to morph into Operation Mayhem? Now the first time somebody rolls a piece of corporate artwork through a Starbucks window or splices frames of porn between reels at the movies, or blows up a smiley face pattern on a building somewhere, the cops are going to come straight to the guys in this article.

The Smartest Guy Ever to Pull a Prison Yard Train

2006-05-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

The title of this post was taken from a post in the metafilter thread about a couple of scumbag corporate criminals who finally got handed down a guilty verdict. Yep, George Bush's good pal Kenny Boy is going down, probably in more ways than one. The cynic in me figured he'd somehow manage to buy his way out of this one, but apparently it was his own testimony that did him in. Of course, this will go through several rounds of appeals, and by the time Bush pays him back for lending him that private jet to go campaigning with by giving him that last minute pardon, he might not have been raped in the shower yet, let alone had to spend one night in prison.

Also amusing... just how fucking dumb are the sort of people who would defend the likes of Tom DeLay? This fucking dumb!

Not in a political mood today

2006-05-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah, BushCheneyCorp still sucks and all, and there are new examples of their suckitude in the news every single day, but I think today's post is going to focus more on the San Francisco and not so much on the liberal. The SF Weekly's Best of San Francisco issue just came out. It's full of great ideas for places to go and things to do. Here's one I'd like to invite the Mormon side of the family to! Here's where I've found great material for this blog. Here's something I've done for fun a few times. And here's something I'd like to do after a little bit of training.

New Blog Renter

2006-05-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

Let's all give a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to my latest blog renter, Shooting in the Dark. According to his blog description, his blog "represents the random thoughts of a man who is beginning to move slightly to the other side of the fulcrum of life. Middle-aged crazy with responsibilities..." Since I don't have time to post about Bush's little play to the loonie base last night, here's what my new tennant has to say about it:

After saying that his greatest moment as President was catching a really big fish, President Bush continued that theme today by introducing his new Immigration Policy and declaring an end to "Catch and Release"....

The Feckless Leader also mentioned one alternative for illegal immigrants....come to America, get "deported to Iraq" and then become a citizen. Bush cited one soldier who came to this Country illegally, went to War and was seriously injured. Bush was "proud" to stand next to this soldier who had so valiantly "defended" a Country that he longed to join as this soldier claimed his citizenship.

Immediately, Lou Dobbs called Bush's plan Amnesty and ridiculed the placement of National Guard troops on the border to assist border patrol agents with everything but enforcement measures. This after President Bush gutted the Border Patrol in budget cuts.

Somebody call a taxidermist.

Please give Shooting in the Dark some blog love by clicking that link in the right hand column.

Reason # 5,489,652 why the religious right sucks

2006-05-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

It is absolutely not an exageration to refer to the religious right as the American Taliban. These people want America governed by their narrow religious beliefs, they have a very tight grip on the republican party, they use the language and ideas of fascism (salon link - you'll have to watch an ad), even having their own youth branch.

What are you doing on 6/6/06?

2006-05-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has watched The Omen, listened to Iron Maiden, or taken the book of revelations a bit too seriously knows that the number 666 is the mark of the anti-christ. Only once each thousand years does the date 6/6/06 happen, and ours is less than a month away. While nothing significantly evil happened (that we know of) on 6/6/1006, this year people are abuzz over what this ominous date might bring. Expectant mothers due around then are in a panic, wingnuts are crawling out of the woodwork, Hollywood is proving it has completely run out of ideas because they're releasing the re-make of The Omen that day, Ilsa - She Wolf of the GOP is releasing her latest work of literary vomit that day... but there's still reason to celebrate. 6/6/06 is the NATIONAL DAY OF SLAYER!!! This is the day to celebrate the greatest Satanic speed metal band of all time by blaring their blistering thrash all day long at top volume. I for one am planning on seeing how long I can get away with listening to them at work.

Happy Monday

2006-05-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

OK, today I offer a happy break from the politics with a link that all you guys and some of you girls will want to bookmark. Here are all the playboy centerfolds since 1954. This should be something that those on both sides of the political aisle (though not so much the puritanical religious right) can come together on.

Why did you lie, Rummy?

2006-05-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

Since the mainstream media are too pussified to ask hard hitting questions to members of the misadministration, we've got to count on patriotic citizens like ex CIA analyst Ray McGovern, shown in the video below, to attempt to hold these bastards accountable. Check this out:

It must be a good day to be a republican

2006-05-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sure, your president is doing badly in the polls and he's dragging the whole party down with him in the midterm elections with every new bodybag coming back from this war that he lied us into and every time Americans get raped at the gas pump. Sure, top level republicans are going down in flames of corruption scandals and in the Plamegate investigation. But hey, did you hear that Ted Kennedy's son got in a car accident? Have fun with this. You need a little fun after years of making excuses for the worst administration ever.

And now for something completely different, I'd like to offer a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to my new blog renter, The Kibitzer. This blog is an intelligent analysis of current events with a journalistic feel to it. It's kind of like what this blog would be like if I could ever resist being a snarky sarcastic bastard who could get out a post without dropping f-bombs or references to sex acts. Anyway, please give my tennant some blog love by clicking that thumbnail to the right.

Much ado about nada

2006-05-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

Can you believe all these people who are freaking out over a Spanish language version of the Star Spangled Banner? Bush got into the fray himself, saying that the anthem should only be sung in English, apparently forgetting completely about this. What a pendejo! Most surprising is that neocon pinup queen Condi Rice seems to actually get it:

"I've heard the national anthem done in rap versions, country versions, classical versions," she said over the weekend. "The individualization of the American national anthem is quite under way."

Stephen Colbert, American Hero!

2006-05-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Being up to my neck in cries and diapers over the weekend, so I missed hearing about Stephen Colbert ripping the entire Bush administration and the press a new one TO THEIR FACES at the White House Correspondents Dinner until I had a chance to see it splashed all over the blosophere today. Here's a link where you can thank Steve for this brave act of biting satire. And here's the entire transcript for your reading pleasure:

STEPHEN COLBERT: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I've been asked to make an announcement. Whoever parked 14 black bulletproof S.U.V.'s out front, could you please move them? They are blocking in 14 other black bulletproof S.U.V.'s and they need to get out.

Wow. Wow, what an honor. The White House correspondents' dinner. To actually sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper -- that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit. The one guy who could have helped.

By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail. Mark Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, my name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book.

Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.

I'm a simple man with a simple mind. I hold a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow. I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

In fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible -- I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe it's not butter. Most of all, I believe in this president.

Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

So, Mr. President, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. Okay, look, folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull before a comeback.

I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." All right. The president in this case is Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed is -- everything else in the world. It's the tenth round. He's bloodied. His corner man, Mick, who in this case I guess would be the vice president, he's yelling, "Cut me, Dick, cut me!," and every time he falls everyone says, "Stay down! Stay down!" Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky, he gets back up, and in the end he -- actually, he loses in the first movie.

OK. Doesn't matter. The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't.

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He's trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite-powered car!

And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She's a true lady and a wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma'am.

I'm sorry, but this reading initiative. I'm sorry, I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them. They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist, telling us what is or isn't true, or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American! I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will. As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side.

But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!

Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

Now, it's not all bad guys out there. Some are heroes: Christopher Buckley, Jeff Sacks, Ken Burns, Bob Schieffer. They've all been on my show. By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is, I promise you. How's Tuesday for you? I've got Frank Rich, but we can bump him. And I mean bump him. I know a guy. Say the word.

See who we've got here tonight. General Moseley, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They still support Rumsfeld. Right, you guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld.

Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: don't let them retire! Come on, we've got a stop-loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.

Jesse Jackson is here, the Reverend. Haven't heard from the Reverend in a little while. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Justice Scalia is here. Welcome, sir. May I be the first to say, you look fantastic. How are you? [After each sentence, Colbert makes a hand gesture, an allusion to Scalia's recent use of an obscene Sicilian hand gesture in speaking to a reporter about Scalia's critics. Scalia is seen laughing hysterically.] Just talking some Sicilian with my paisan.

John McCain is here. John McCain, John McCain, what a maverick! Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork. This guy could have used a spoon! There's no predicting him. By the way, Senator McCain, it's so wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University. So glad you've seen the light, sir.

Mayor Nagin! Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city! Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a Mallomar, I guess is what I'm describing, a seasonal cookie.

Joe Wilson is here, Joe Wilson right down here in front, the most famous husband since Desi Arnaz. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame. Oh, my god! Oh, what have I said? [looks horrified] I am sorry, Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife Joe Wilson's wife. Patrick Fitzgerald is not here tonight? OK. Dodged a bullet.

And, of course, we can't forget the man of the hour, new press secretary, Tony Snow. Secret Service name, "Snow Job." Toughest job. What a hero! Took the second toughest job in government, next to, of course, the ambassador to Iraq.

Got some big shoes to fill, Tony. Big shoes to fill. Scott McClellan could say nothing like nobody else. McClellan, of course, eager to retire. Really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew Card's children. Mr. President, I wish you hadn't made the decision so quickly, sir.

I was vying for the job myself. I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. In fact, sir, I brought along an audition tape and with your indulgence, I'd like to at least give it a shot. So, ladies and gentlemen, my press conference.

BEGINNING OF "AUDITION TAPE"

Colbert shows a video of a mock press conference. It opens with him at a podium, addressing the assembled Washington press corps.

COLBERT: I have a brief statement: the press is destroying America. OK, let's see who we've got here today.

COLBERT (acknowledging various reporters): Stretch! (David Gregory nods)

Sir Nerdlington! (reporter nods)

Sloppy Joe! (reporter nods)

Terry Lemon Moran Pie! (Terry Moran nods)

Oh, Doubting Thomas, always a pleasure. (Helen Thomas smiles)

And Suzanne Mal -- hello!!

(Suzanne Malveaux stares at Colbert, looking unhappy. Colbert mimics putting a phone to his ear and mouths "call me.")

REPORTER: Will the Vice President be available soon to answer all questions himself?

COLBERT: I've already addressed that question. You (pointing to another reporter).

REPORTER: Walter Cronkite, the noted CBS anchor, . . .

COLBERT (interrupting): Ah, no, he's the former CBS anchor. Katie Couric is the new anchor of the CBS Evening News. Well, well, how do you guys feel about that?

You, tousle-haired guy in the back. Are you happy about Katie Couric taking over the CBS Evening News?

DAN RATHER: No, sir, Mr. Colbert. Are you? (Laughter)

COLBERT: Boom! Oh, look, we woke David Gregory up. Question?

DAVID GREGORY: Did Karl Rove commit a crime?

COLBERT: I don't know. I'll ask him.

(Colbert turns to Rove) Karl, pay attention please! (Rove is seen drawing a heart with "Karl + Stephen" written on it.)

GREGORY: Do you stand by your statement from the fall of 2003 when you were asked specifically about Karl, and Elliott Abrams, and Scooter Libby, and you said "I've gone to each of those gentlemen, and they have told me that they are not involved in this." Do you stand by that statement?

COLBERT: Nah, I was just kidding!

GREGORY: No, you're not finishing. You're not saying anything! You stood at that podium and said . . .

COLBERT (interrupting): Ah, that's where you're wrong. New podium! Just had it delivered today. Get your facts straight, David.

GREGORY: This is ridiculous. The notion that you're going to stand before us after having commented with that level of detail and tell the people watching this that somehow you've decided not to talk. You've got to . . .

(Colbert is seen looking at three buttons on the podium, labeled "EJECT," "GANNON" and "VOLUME." He selects the "VOLUME" button and turns it. We see Gregory's lips continue moving, but can't hear any sound coming out.)

COLBERT: If I can't hear you, I can't answer your question. I'm sorry! I have to move on. Terry.

TERRY MORAN: After the investigation began, after the criminal investigation was underway, you said . . .

(Colbert presses a button on the podium and fast-forwards through most of Moran's question.)

MORAN (continuing): All of a sudden, you have respect for the sanctity of a criminal investigation?

COLBERT (seen playing with rubber ball, which he is bouncing off attached paddle): No, I never had any respect for the sanctity of a criminal investigation. Activist judges! Yes, Helen.

HELEN THOMAS: You're going to be sorry. (Laughter)

COLBERT (looking vastly amused, mockingly): What are you going to do, Helen, ask me for a recipe?

THOMAS: Your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands (Colbert's smile fades) of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime.

COLBERT (interrupting): OK, hold on Helen, look . . .

THOMAS (continuing): Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is why did you really want to go to war?

COLBERT (again interrupting): Helen, I'm going to stop you right there. (Thomas keeps talking.) That's enough! No! Sorry, Helen, I'm moving on. (Colbert tries to turn her volume off, but the knob falls off his controls.)

(Various reporters start shouting questions at Colbert.)

COLBERT (agitated): Guys, guys, please don't let Helen do this to what was a lovely day.

(Reporters keep shouting at him.)

COLBERT (putting his fingers over his ears and shouting in a high-pitched voice): Bllrrtt! No, no, no, no, no. I'm not listening to you!

Look what you did, Helen! I hate you!

(Helen Thomas glowers at Colbert.)

COLBERT (frantic): I'm out of here!

(Colbert pulls back the curtain behind him, desperately trying to flee. He says, "There is a wall here!" The press corps laughs. Colbert has difficulty finding a door from which to exit the room, echoing Bush's experience in China. He finally finds the door and hurries through it.)

COLBERT: It reeks in there! Ridiculous! I've never been so insulted in my life! Stupid job.

(Colbert continues walking away. We hear sinister-sounding music playing. We see Helen Thomas walking behind Colbert.)

(Colbert looks behind him, sees Thomas, and starts running.)

(Colbert trips over a roller skate, and yells "Condi!" We see a close-up of Helen Thomas' face, looking determined and angry. Colbert, increasingly panicked, gets up and continues running, running into a parking garage. He reaches an emergency call box, and yells into it.)

COLBERT: Oh, thank God. Help me!

ATTENDANT: What seems to be the problem, sir?

COLBERT: She won't stop asking why we invaded Iraq!

ATTENDANT: Hey, why did we invade Iraq?

COLBERT: NO!!! (runs toward his car)

(We see Helen Thomas, still walking toward him.)

(Colbert reaches his car, and fumblingly attempts to open it with his key. He is in such a desperate hurry that he fumbles with the keys and drops them. When he picks them up, he looks back and Helen is even closer. In his frantic rush, Colbert just can't get the keys into the lock.)

(Just as his anxiety is getting completely out of control he suddenly remembers that he has a keyless remote -- so he just pushes the button on the keychain and the car unlocks immediately with the usual double squeak noise. Colbert jumps in and locks the door, and continues to fumble trying to get the car started. He finally succeeds, and looks up to see Helen standing in front of the car, notepad in hand.)

COLBERT: NO!!! NO!!!

(Colbert puts the car into reverse and drives off, tires squealing. Thomas smiles.)

(Colbert is shown taking the shuttle from Washington, D.C. to New York. A car and driver are waiting for him at Penn Station. The uniformed man standing alongside the car opens the door and lets Colbert in.)

COLBERT: What a terrible trip, Danny. Take me home.

(The driver locks the doors, turns around, and says, "Buckle up, hon." IT'S HELEN THOMAS!!!)

COLBERT (horrified face pressed against car window): NO!!!

END OF "AUDITION TAPE"

STEPHEN COLBERT: Helen Thomas, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Smith, members of the White House Correspondents Association, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, it's been a true honor. Thank you very much. Good night!

Lieberman did what?

2006-04-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, who would have thought that the biggest republican in the democratic party would accuse the White House of anything but being the best damn bunch of guys he ever met, but somehow Joe Lieberman got Bush's dick out of his mouth long enough to accuse the White House of stonewalling the Hurricane Katrina response investigation.

WASHINGTON -- Sen. Joseph Lieberman, D-Conn., accused the White House on Thursday of not only failing to cooperate with the Senate's Hurricane Katrina investigation, but of telling key federal agencies not to turn over documents that he said could have shed light on the botched federal response to the nation's worst natural disaster.

What on earth could stop Holy Joe from his usual routine of being the administration's bitch? Could he be trying to gain a little bit of democratic cred now that he's facing a primary challenge?

New Blog Renter

2006-04-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

There's nothing funny or snarky about the subject matter of my latest blog renter. The subject is the genocidal nightmare in Darfur. With all of the bullshit going on in our country and the world, much though not all of which can be traced to the blunderings and corruption of the Bush administration, it's easy to overlook yet another human rights catastrophe in some part of the world that we Americans don't think of too often. So if you're not completely outrage fatigued, please drop by Darfur: An Unforgivable Hell on Earth by clicking on the thumbnail to the right, and get some fresh new outrage.

Meet the new boss...

2006-04-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

...same as the old boss. I thought after we didn't find those WMDs in Iraq that the new reason we're at war was to liberate the Iraqi people from an evil regime. Looks like that's worked out real well.

Another Bush Remix

2006-04-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

It's a sorry state of affairs when our president needs to be remixed in order to sound right. This is from the same folks that remixed Bush to sing Sunday Bloody Sundy, Imagine and White Lines.

That's Hot

2006-04-21T06:40:00.000-07:00

Check out Planned Parenthood Golden Gate's hot new safe sex PSA. It's already running on MTV and MySpace, and tonight Bill O'Reilly is going to bash it on his show. I'd love to hear mister dildo and falafel things get all high and mighty about why teens shouldn't have sex as if his sleazy ass has a moral leg to stand on with that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States...

2006-04-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

No writup needed. Just watch this.

Hey hey my my

2006-04-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that I haven't picked up one of his albums since Ragged Glory, I've always had an appreciation for Neil Young. He's had an incredibly long and prolific career exploring many dimensions of music from beautiful country ballads to blistering feedbacked guitar epics. Now just seven months after releasing Prairie Wind, he's surprised his record company and everyone else by recording a new album with an anti-war, anti-Bush theme in just over a week and is coming out soon. It features a song called "Let's Impeach the President" which apparently features samples of Bush speaking over a gospel chorus singing "flip flop, flip flop." I for one cannot wait to hear the whole thing.

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!!

2006-04-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

Jesus has a blog and he's taking your questions.

V for Vendetta

2006-04-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

Last night my inlaws came to babysit so that my wife and I could go to the movies and we saw V for Vendetta. I'd been wanting to see this since I heard they were making a movie about it since I was a huge fan of the comic book. Everything you've heard about it is probably true. It kicks ass. The hero is a revolutionary (called a terrorist by the state, of course) who strikes against a fascist regime which was originally written about Margaret Thatcher's England in the 80's. But the similarities to the USA of today are striking. The "Voice of London" on the official state run TV station was very much like Bill O'Reilly and Fox News. The supreme leader talks a great deal about faith and about staying in power by keeping the population in fear. Citizens are spied upon and undesirables are taken away with hoods over their faces and tortured. Needless to say, those friendly fascists at freak republic didn't like it too much. Besides the much needed message of this film that the people need to wake the fuck up and tear down regimes like this, the acting was great and the action was top notch. If you haven't seen it yet, get your ass to the theater!

Best. Protest Sign. Ever.

2006-04-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

Pouring Gas on the Fire

2006-04-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

All the other bloggers were talking about this weeks ago, but as I've been out of the game for a while it's been on my mind without an outlet. Yeah, I'm talking about this supposed "War on Christianity." There's not a whole lot that I can say that hasn't been said already, other than apparently the wingnut religious right is playing straight out of the republican playbook using the professional victim card. Oh, that poor majority of our country who has all three branches of government doing their bidding just can't seem to get a break these days. I am so sick of all goddamned religion. I'm tired of all the war and bloodshed and oppression because one group of wingnuts thinks their imaginary friend is better than another group's imaginary friend. So in that vein, here's a little gasoline for that fire:

Back with a new Blog Renter

2006-04-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like I'm going to try to ease myself back into this political blogging thing after a lengthy paternity leave. Besides having a baby, I've also changed jobs and the new job does not offer the same opportunity to blog at work, so I'll do what I can in terms of posting. I'm still more interested in ~~indoctrinating our baby from a very early age with anti-republican dogma~~ playing with my adorable baby and reading comic books than writing snarky commentary about current events that piss me off, but I'll do what I can. And speaking of snarky commentary, please pay a visit to my new blog tennent, Mr. Anthrope. Click that button to the right and enjoy. Possible NSFW language, but if your boss gives you a hard time about it, tell him to shut his cock pleaser.

It's Official - Bush is from Bizzarro World

2006-04-08T11:38:00.000-07:00

So the administration comes up with an assortment of lies in order to get us into this fucked up war in Iraq, including the one about Saddam trying to buy nuclear materials from Niger. Joe Wilson goes on a fact finding mission and figures out that the claim was bullshit. To get revenge, Bush authorizes Cheney to have his chief of staff to leak Wilson's wife's identity as a CIA agent to the press, thereby compromising the safety of a US intelligence agent all because he wouldn't let anything annoying like the actual truth get in the way of him going to this war that a fringe neocon thinktank has had a hardon for since the early 90's. Wilson and his wife get smeared, we go to war and find zero WMDs, Cheney's chief of staff is looking at a nice stay in prison where he can be Jack Abramoff's bitch, and the most arrogant white house in the history of this country now says that the leak was "in the public interest."

"There were irresponsible and unfounded accusations being made against the administration, suggesting that we had manipulated or misused that intelligence," said White House press secretary Scott McClellan. "Because of the public debate that was going on and some of the wild accusations that were flying around at the time, we felt it was very much in the public interest that what information could be declassified be declassified. And that's exactly what we did."

So Scotty, given that there were NO FUCKING WMD'S FOUND in Iraq, what exactly is so "irresponsible and unfounded" about pointing that fact out beforehand? What is irresponsible and unfounded is going to war where over 2000 of our soldiers have died based on complete and utter bullshit. While Bush is enjoying record low approval ratings, now finally everyday citizens are enjoying the opportunity of verbally bitchslapping him in public now. And you can just bet that the right wing smear machine is already working overtime to play those "politics of personal destruction" on Harry Taylor like they did with Cindy Sheehan. Give him your worst, fuckos. We'll be laughing after the midterm elections.

Poor Tom!

2006-04-05T06:48:00.000-07:00

If anybody is still reading this thing now that I've all but given up politics for diaper changing, every now and then I see a headline that I just need to comment on and I actually have a free moment to do it. This is one of those times. Poor Tom Delay. Forget that he has given a face to political corruption of today. Forget that he's at the end of the row of dominoes that are falling one by one in this massive influence peddling scandal. Forget that his once promising political career is ending in embarrassment. He's really the victim in all of this. Yep, whenever a member of the "personal responsibility" party fucks up, the first thing you hear about is "the politics of personal destruction." Yeah, it had nothing to do with him being a corrupt scumbag for years, it's just those mean democrats who are pointing and calling names. And while we're on the topic of DeLay headlines, here's a great one: DeLay Departing on his Own Terms. What kind of imbecile considers taking the ball and going home because you know you're just going to lose the game anyway while you wait for your inevitable conviction and sentence to a federal pound you in the ass prison to be their own terms?

Anyway, enough with the politics. It may be another month before I post anything here again, so enjoy this rare acoustic performance of the reunited Judas Priest.

Sinking to New Lows

2006-03-16T07:01:00.000-08:00

How do you know that you suck? When you're the president of the USA and you can't even get a meeting with Jessica Simpson.

Yikes!

2006-03-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

This is why I couldn't get to the Marin City Babies R Us today. A freak blizzard in Marin County? I blame Bush, or at least his daddy.

"How many of you have children in this illegal and immoral war?"

2006-03-09T22:29:00.000-08:00

That's what one brave American stood up and asked our secretary of state today as she asked congress to give us more money to perpetuate the bloodbath in Iraq. Here's the video.

No time for a real post

2006-03-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

Still not having much time to think about current events, so here's a nice little video for you to watch and discuss amongst yourselves.

Bush Knew

2006-03-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

Just taking a break from diapers, peek-a-boo and cuddles to mention something that I'm sure just about every other liberal blogger is blogging about and something every right wing blogger is busy making excuses for. You know how all the right wingers were saying that there's no way anybody could have known about just how devastating hurricane Katrina might have been to New Orleans? WRONG! Looks like Brownie actually did a heck of a job briefing Bush about what could have gone down and Bush ignored that just like he ignored that bipartisan report on homeland security that described how al Quaeda could turn a commercial jet into a missile and attack us with it. But hey, he was on vacation. He was far too busy raising funds for the RNC and making photo ops to help out a city that didn't vote for him. Maybe Kanye West had a point afterall.

What a week!

2006-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

Hey folks, I've had quite the week. A week ago today my wife and I had the most liberal baby in San Francisco. She was born with an "Impeach Bush" bumper sticker across her stomach. But seriously, she's freakin' cute and my mind is on more important things than politics. I don't even know what's going on other than something about a port deal and more people getting killed in Iraq. I'll get back to that stuff eventually, but for now here's something that those of us on both sides of the aisle could agree upon, the world is a less happy place without Don Knotts in it. Don't miss his final performance.

More Dick Jokes

2006-02-18T14:20:00.000-08:00

Somebody made a really great flash video for Cheney's Got a Gun!

What Happens in Abu Ghraib Stays in Abu Ghraib

2006-02-16T19:41:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what ever happened to the guys from Devo who didn't go on to score films like Mark Mothersbaugh? Well Gerald Casale is now Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers and this is the video for his new song "Army Girls Gone Wild." Besides the obvious political message, it's a great song and a really cool video.

And Today's Dick Cheney Shooting a Guy in the Face Post...

2006-02-15T06:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's day 3 of the Dick Cheney's Hunting Accident-palooza here at San Francisco Liberal. Ladies and gentlemen, Jon Stewart...

More fun at Dick's Expense

2006-02-14T11:56:00.000-08:00

But first, a shoutout to my new blog renter, Mark's World, a great blog about politics, life and soccer from a liberal English perspective. Give him some blog love by clicking that featured blog link on the right.

Now, on the the cavalcade of Dick jokes! This one came in my email this morning, I have no idea the original source:

February 12, 2006

CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE

Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says

Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on "faulty intelligence."

"I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters. "Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted 'Cheney, you bastard' did I realize that this intelligence was faulty."

Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president's attack because, in his words, "I was in Pakistan."

An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't Jack Abramoff."

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent "a strong message to terrorists everywhere."

"The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you," Mr. Bush said.

Elsewhere, aviator Steve Fossett completed his three-day journey around the globe, setting a world record for wasting both time and money.

Then there are two other quick tidbits:

Somebody Had to Do it...

2006-02-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

...might as well be me.

But I'm not the only one. When somebody like Dick Cheney fucks up and shoots a guy, people on the internets are pretty quick to come up with stuff. Here's a quick roundup...

Guns don't shoot people, Cheney Shoots People
Cheney Hunts
The Dick Cheney Quail Hunt Game
Ten Ways Cheney can Kill You
I'm sure somebody has recorded "Cheney's Got a Gun" to the tune of Aerosmith, but I haven't found an MP3 yet.

The Most Dangerous Game

2006-02-13T09:46:00.000-08:00

We all know Dick Cheney is an avid hunter. Remember that hunting trip he went on with Antonin Scalia a while ago? Well, I don't know if Dick had any members of the judiciary that he needed to butter up with him this weekend, but he sure did nab himself a big one! Yep, that sharpshooting VP of ours bagged himself a 78 year old lawyer! Since it was the lawyer's fault for getting shot, Dick quickly gutted him, drank the blood from his still beating heart, and had the head mounted on his wall of his office in the Old Executive Office Building. Not a bad shot for a guy who was too busy to go fight the war in Vietnam that he supported so much.

Quit Monkeying Around!

2006-02-10T12:48:00.000-08:00

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am not particularly dogmatic in my liberalism. There are definitely a few spots where my personal philosophy diverges from what people may expect of me based on political labeling and whatnot. Possibly the biggest part of what has been attributed to all liberals which I take major exception to is the concept of political correctness. While I don't think that it's some heavilly orchestrated leftist conspiracy to force people to think a certain way (at least not since the oppressive climate on some college campuses circa the early 90's), I do think that certain groups and individuals have really run amok with it making the rest of us liberals look kinda lame. So what's the latest outrage, you ask? Just one of my favorite childern's books, now a major motion picture voiced by Will Ferrel, Curious George. Apparently, it teaches kids imperialism and animal cruelty. Give me a fucking break! Those books were written over 50 years ago, for crying out loud! They're fun! There were always consequences to little George's curiousity. So he was plucked out of Africa by an evil white man in a yellow hat and was able to smoke a pipe and go all Hunter S. Thompson on an ether binge. None of that is as offensive as some of the WWII era Bugs Bunny cartoons and their portrayal of the Japanese (which despite their offenses were damn funny anyway). I hate it when I have to agree with a right wing blogger about anything, but nothing pisses me off more than a lack of a sense of humor, and few people are as humorless as the PC police.

Protest This

2006-02-09T09:36:00.000-08:00

So while the Middle East demonstrates their sense of humor by burning down embassies over a fucking cartoon, why not throw a little gasoline on the fire with this? Muslims of the world, consider that you're alienating the only people in the West who have defended you by saying that your entire religion should not be blamed for the actions of your lunatic fringe by demonstrating your intolerance for free speech. Your freedom to practice your religion ends where the free speech of others begins. This comment on Metafilter pretty much sums up how I feel about all of this:

Religion, all religion, needs to be mocked in a free society, for the embarrassment it is. Religion deserves freedom, but it doesn't deserve "respect", quite the opposite. And the more backwards and insane the adherents of any religion are, the more they demand that unbelievers have to respect their tiresome idiot beliefs, the more those beliefs deserve to be mocked. This just isn't for Muslims, the more Jerry Falwell, George Bush, etc. demand we all pay lip service to their ugly superstitions, the more necessary it becomes that South Park and Kevin Smith and Andres Serrano and Marilyn Manson and Richard Dawkins, etc, etc, step up their campaigns to mock and denigrate these outdated beliefs.

The Innocent Have Nothing to Hide

2006-02-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

This is fucking classic! Thanks, freakgirl.

Welcome to a new blog renter

2006-02-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hey folks, let's all give a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to my latest blog renter, On the Left Tip. It's the nicely designed, well written and informative political blog of RenaRF, another "proud member of the 49% who voted for John Kerry." Please give her some blog love by clicking on that thumbnail in the right hand column. I would also like to recommend her blog as a place to get your fix of good lefty politics while I'm out having a baby. She could be arriving any day now, and on top of that I'm switching jobs within the next two weeks, so there's going to be a great deal on my mind that does not involve writing political snark online. But don't worry, I'll be around as much as I can. Bringing a child into the world really ups the urgency for making sure Bushco doesn't fuck this country up much more than they already are.

Muslims need a sense of humor

2006-02-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

So apparently the entire Muslim world is all in a tizzy over some political cartoons featuring their prophet, Muhammad. We anti-war liberal types are constantly trying to say that the religion of Islam is not the problem, it's just their most extreme fundamentalist wingnuts who are killing for it who are the problem. You folks who are getting your panties in a knot over cartoons are not exactly helping our case here. Instead of this ridiculous outrage, you should feel that the world is finally catching up with you and taking your religion seriously enough to make fun of it. Every other religious figure in the world has been caricatured in one way or the other. Congratulations. You're sitting at the adult table now. Are we supposed to treat you like children because your most conservative wingnut element might try to kill us? Fuck that shit. Stop taking yourselves so damn seriously. Retaliate with a funny cartoon about Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Krishna or L. Ron Hubbard for cryin' out loud. Just stop being such fucking crybabies! You don't want to go back to the kids' table, do you? Jeesh!

PS. I've seen plenty of news stories about this, but not the actual cartoons. If anyone has a link, please post it in the comments. Thanks.

This is how you do it, Cindy

2006-02-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Cindy Sheehan, you had a golden opportunity to embarass Bush during his great speechifying event, but you went and got yourself arrested way too early. Here's what you should have done... BE INCONSPICUOUS at least until the speech starts. Sitting there in an anti-war t-shirt is the perfect way to let these goons know that you're that lady who's been pestering the president all these months. You should have just sat quietly until the speech started, waited until the idiot took a pause to try to think of the right word to say or to listen to Karl Rove on his earpiece or whaterver, and then you throw off your overshirt, stand on your chair and yell out "how many more have to die because of your goddamned lies you dumb son of a bitch," and then get arrested for disorderly conduct. I would much rather wake up to read a headline like "Bush Heckled at State of the Union Address" than "Sheehan Arrested Before State of the Union."

Brownback Mountain

2006-01-31T12:05:00.000-08:00

Anyone who listens to Howard Stern is familiar with Senator Brownback. He's one of those great conservative cultural warriors. When it comes to issues of "decency" or other key issues of the lunatic fringe of the religious right, he's about as subtle as a jackhammer. But is he witty enough to make a double entendre about gays in Sweden? You be the judge.

It's joke time

2006-01-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

As promised, I'm going to tell you all a joke. This isn't just any joke, it's a very famous, very dirty joke. There's a whole movie out about this joke. You may have heard about it. So if you are easily offended, just get the hell away from this blog right now. OK, you've been warned.

So this guy, let's just call him George, walks into a talent agent's office and proudly exclaims "Have I got an act for you!"

(This is your last chance to turn away from this joke, people)

The talent agent asks him what kind of an act and he tells him that it's a family act. The agent says "I'm sorry, but I don't book family acts," but George says "trust me, you've never seen an act like this before! It's totally fantastificational." So the agent asks him to describe the act.

(Seriously folks, it's about to get really fucking vile right here. You've had plenty of chances to bail here, so don't go complaining to me after the fact.)

"Well," starts George, "first I come out on stage in a powder blue 70's style tuxedo with all the ruffles and stuff and I walk up to a podium with the presidential seal on it. I tell the crowd that I have found a weapon of mass destruction in Iraq. Then my buddy Dick comes goosestepping out on stage in a full SS regalia, snears at the audience, smacks me upside my head and says 'you dumbass, it's not a weapon of MASS destruction you found, it's a weapon of ASS destruction.' Then he tears off my tux (it's got that velcro stuff on it to make it easier to tear you know), bends me over the podium, and proceeds to ram a large deplecated uranium artillery shell up my ass. While he's doing this, my twin daughters come out on stage. They take off all of their clothes and Jenna sits in a chair while Barbara climbs to the top of a step ladder above her. Barbara chugs not one, not two but three 40 Oz bottle of the finest malt liquor from the great state of Texas while Jenna launches some ping pong balls into the audience using only her well worked love muscles. Barbara then takes out a beer bong, hands Jenna the drinking end of it which she puts in her mouth as Barbara lets loose a hot, alcohol infused stream of pee into the funnel end. Keep in mind, all the while Dick is still saddamhussein-itizing me with that artillery shell and I'm making chimp faces and monkey sounds to the absolute delight of the crowd. So after Jenna knocks back her sister's recycled beer bong like a true UT sorrority sister, she proceeds to belch out the national anthem while the audience rise to their feet and salute. Then my dear wife Laura comes out on the stage wearing nothing but a confederate flag g-string and pointy metallic pasties, carrying a big old hunting knife. She grabs Dick by the balls, plunges the knife into his chest, pulls out his heart, then takes out a kaiser bun, throws it into the air, slices it samurai-style and then puts Dick's heart on it with some mayo, tomatoes and a sprig of parsley. That's when my parents come out. George Senior and Barbara act all surprised that this sort of stuff is going on, but Laura smoothes them over by offering them a delishamous sandwich. Mom and Dad share the sandwich while watching the girls demonstrate their polishing skills on that artillery shell and this makes them so happy that they rip their clothes off too. Dad grabs Jenna and starts fucking her in the ass while Mom takes the younger Barbara, sticks her head between her old lady legs and proceeds to give her instruction in the cunilinguinistical arts. Laura and I watch this for a few minutes before bringing my younger brother Jeb out on stage. Laura cracks a whip and Jeb drops trou and lies down on the stage. Laura squats over his chest and gives him a huge Cleveland Steamer with little chunks of corn in it, then commands him to go give a Lewinsky job to Dick's body lying in the corner. Now Jebby's usually up for anything, but he's not into necrophilia, so he calls our family doctor, Bill Frist, to examine Dick via satellite. Bill says that Dick is indeed alive, so Jeb goes down on him. By now, Mom and Dad have switched twins and the older Barbara is felching Pop's spooge out of Jenna's gaping bunghole while the younger Barbara is licking dad's balls. That's when I start breakdancing, doing back spins sliding in all the blood, piss, shit and jizz that has accumulated by now on the stage while Laura sings It's Tricky by Run DMC. I flip over so I'm just spinning on the tip of my dick and the crowd just goes wild at this point. After that, we pretty much go into an improvised Mongolian Cluster Fuck with a few guest stars like my pals Rummy and Wolfy come in and sing some Toby Keith songs while passing a gerbil back and forth using only their assholes. At one point, we have Rick Santorum try to interrupt the whole thing saying that gay marriage leads to man on dog sex and the twins strip him naked and hold him down while Barney the dog makes him taste his little red rocket. There's this other part where we bring out uncle Ronnie's rotting corpse and we all take turns fucking parts of that. I'm in an eye socket while dad's in the bullet wound in his chest and Laura and the twins take turns grinding up against that shellacked head of hair of his. As we all collapse into a big stinking pile of limbs, tits, cocks and bodily fluids, I get up and say 'Mission Accomplished' and then we all take a bow."

The talent agent is amazed at what he just heard. "So what do you call this act," he asks.

George replies with a snap of his fingers, "I call it... The Artistomats!"

UPDATE: Let's all give a warm welcome to those friendly fascists from freak republic!

New Blog Renter

2006-01-27T15:21:00.000-08:00

Let's all give a hearty San Francisco Liberal welcome to Wonderland Or Not. It was a tough choice between two sassy, smart and liberal lady bloggers, but the webmistress of Wonderland or Not seems to take it very personally when people reject her rental bids, and I just didn't have the heart to disappoint somebody who posts about readers she'd like to fuck alongside posts about the genocide in the Sudan and random Springsteen lyrics. I look forward to exploring this blog more, and so should you, so give her some blog love and click that thumbnail on the right hand side, would you? Now I guess I'll have to actually write a post or two so she gets her credits worth. Tune in on Monday when I attempt to tell a joke.

I'd also like to give a shoutout to the runner up, C-o-nSpriracy.

Hello it's me

2006-01-26T06:47:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been almost 2 weeks since I've posted anything. Why is that, you ask? Well for one, it's kind of hard to think about politics when you've got a baby now just one month away from coming out. Then there's the fact that my boss has been micromanaging the fuck out of me which doesn't allow for worktime blogging. And then there's also the fact that downloading and listening to Howard Stern's new uncensored show on Sirius is a whole lot more entertaining than getting all worked up over the neocons, the religious nutjobs and the corporate robber barons who are fighting daily to make this country the worst place it could be for regular everyday people like myself. I had no idea that George Takei was so damn funny. The bad language doesn't make the show funnier, but their freedom to say whatever they want makes it so much more enjoyable than the whole last year of them bitching about how they weren't allowed to do anything they wanted to.

So anyway, I don't really have a political rant for today. People are still getting killed in Iraq. Our elected leaders are a bunch of criminals. Our corporate CEOs are still maximizing their pofits by fucking over the workforce. And our president continues to make an ass of himself every single day, like this...

New Blog Renter and Happy MLK Day!

2006-01-16T07:15:00.000-08:00

First off, let's give a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to this week's blog renter, Haunted House Dressing. It's a blog that does not appear to have a political agenda, but instead has a little bit of everything and is extremely well written. Go ahead and click that thumbnail to the right and check it out.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr,s birtday. Despite the fact that republicans fought hard to keep this from becoming a national holiday, I am not going to politicize it. Just read what the man had to say:

One who condones evils is just as guilty as the one who perpetrates it.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Wisdom born of experience should tell us that war is obsolete. There may have been a time when war served as a negative good by preventing the spread and growth of an evil force... If we assume that life is worth living, if we assume that mankind has the right to survive, then we must find an alternative to war.

We have flown the air like birds and swum the seas like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Workers 1 - Walmart 0

2006-01-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

The state of Maryland just overrode their governor's veto to force WalMart to pay more health benefits! This is great news for low income workers and could help get the ball rolling to providing better health care for all workers. Wal-Mart is not pleased. They say that it's nothing but partisan politics involving the gubernatorial race. If that's the case, I still can't find a problem with that. What could better illustrate the true republican colors of being more concerned with the corporate bottom line than with the needs of the workforce? Between this and the recent documentary, Wal-Mart is feeling the heat. They've hired themselves a "right wing hit squad" to defend them against these big bad attacks, and their CEO has sent out a memo full of union-bashing goodness. Could the tide finally be turning for corporations getting away with artificially inflating their stock value at the expense of the workers? I certainly hope so.

Pat Robertson: Asshat of the Highest Order

2006-01-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

Hey Pat, here's a little hint for you: if you're planning on building an evengelical Christian theme park in Israel, perhaps you should reconsider saying that God struck down Ariel Sharon for dividing the holy land. Dumbass. Even snarkier comments available on the mefi thread.

Anonymous commenters, watch what you say!

2006-01-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

It is now a federal crime to annoy somebody on the internet without disclosing your identity. I swear, I'm not making this up. Buried deeply within the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act is section 113 which contains this little morsel of stupidity...

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

Now, I'm all for people owning what they write online, but this is ridiculous. For one thing, how does this effect anonymous bloggers such as myself and more than half of the blogosphere? I know that I write things meant to annoy certain people. Hell, I remember before there was an internet and I was using dialup BBS's that the majority of discussions were massive anonymous flame wars over whether or not Yes could be considered fusion or who had the best D&D character. Is this law even enforceable? Read more here (via metafilter)

Bush and Domestic Spying

2006-01-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

When I see ads like this, I wish I worked for the DNC now instead of during the embarassment that was the Gore campaign.

Welcome new Blog Renter

2006-01-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

Another warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to our newest blog renter, With Sticks and Stones. It was a tough choice between this and Independent Christian Voice. Both are great blogs, but I chose this one for the snark. Please support my new tennant by clicking the "featured blog" thumbnail on the right column.

In honor of the new tennent, here's more of Letterman making [more of] a fool of O'Reilly:

The Letterman Factor

2006-01-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

Check this out: Bill O'Reilly being spanked by David Letterman, and not in the way Bill O'Reilly enjoys being spanked. Be sure to hear the guffaws from the audience when falafel-boy claims to not have any friends in the White House.

There's also a highlight reel at Salon which includes the beginning of the segment where Dave compares Bill's "War on Christmas" to people wanting to put diapers on horses. Good stuff!

Happy New Year!

2005-12-31T17:26:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm back on the blog briefly to wish everyone a happy San Francisco Liberal New Year! As Fred pointed out in the comment to the last post, I am horribly lazy for not posting over the holidays, but hey, I had much more festive things on my mind and everyone needs a break sometimes. Now, I don't have anything of any major substance today, but the following series of photos were forwarded to my email and I figure I might as well end the year with some cheap shots at those lovely red states. The subject of the email was "Why I Love the South."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last bloggy goodness for a while

2005-12-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

Well tomorrow my folks are in town for the day and then we drive down to spend Christmas with my inlaws for a few days, so there won't be much going on here over the next week or so. Yeah, what else is new, right? Christmas craziness has struck again this year. It's hard to spend time thinking about our corrupt president, his bloody war, all of our elected officials suckling at the teat of lobbyists like Jack Abramoff, domestic spying and so on and so forth when there's gingerbread men to be painted, packages to be shipped, parties to attend and a baby kicking around in Mrs. San Francisco Liberal's belly. So I'd just like to send a warm holiday greeting to all of my regular readers (yes, I said holiday because I know that not all of you are celebrating the same holiday and Bill O'Reilly can kiss my Christmas-celebrating ass over it). Have a great time with your families, get some awesome presents, eat and drink until you almost burst, and enjoy that peaceful easy feeling (unintentional Eagles reference).

2006 will be a whole new year and I'll be back with a vengence (and who knows, maybe my co-blogger might be back too) on the impeachment tip (though that's a tricky subject - while Bush deserves to be impeached, that would mean President Cheney).

Yeah yeah I know

2005-12-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

It's been almost a week since I've blogged anything here. I've been trying to think of a funny and snarky way to sum up this whole week of Bush fuckups, defeats and moments of squirming which like any leftist blogger worth a shit I should really be gloating about. But this is the busiest time of the year and I barely find the time to gather a thought about anything that doesn't involve helping my wife paint gingerbread cookies or getting presents packed up and shipped back east let alone blogging about politics. So here's a little something that has nothing at all to do with politics or Christmas.

New Blog Renter

2005-12-15T11:02:00.000-08:00

Let's give a hearty San Francisco welcome to James and his Right On! blog. Anyone who comments on this blog is familiar with James. Given the name of his blog, you could imagine that we don't always see eye to eye on things, and I was a tad obnoxious to him when he first started posting here, but he's stuck around and become a respected friend of this blog. So go ahead and click on his thumbnail in the right column and pay him a visit, even if you don't think you're going to agree with him. He's smarter than the average conservative, more pragmatic than the average libertarian, and he likes South Park too.

This week's runner up is Discuss It, a great non-partisan political/social issues group blog run by Scott of Scott-o-Rama fame.

Live (sort of) from Death Row

2005-12-15T10:22:00.000-08:00

Last week's blog renter, Jason Buckley, has just posted video from Tookie Williams' execution protest. Interesting stuff. I'm firmly against the death penalty and found this execution to be particularly heartbreaking given Williams' work dissuading kids from gang life and violence. The video is a rough cut but it captures the impassioned speakers, the media circus and the general mood, all intercut with Johnny Cash's haunting "San Quentin."

The Spirit of Christmas!

2005-12-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

My blog renter rocks! When YouTube rejected this video as "inappropriate," Jason went ahead and uploaded it to his own web server for exlusive streaming here on this blog, and he even helped me put it in a popup window. So without further ado, I give you South Park's The Spirit of Christmas.

Meet the American Taliban

2005-12-11T07:08:00.000-08:00

College professor speaks out against funamentalism. Local fundie rednecks beat up professor. What would Jesus do? Lawrence local blogger Snoop thinks he staged his own beating. Snoop, could you add a little something to why you think that? You live there, you've probably got more perspective on this than those of us who are just picking it up on the internets.

YouTube Hates Christmas

2005-12-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

I tried to upload South Park's The Spirit of Christmas short to YouTube to show it on this blog, but those bastards rejected it. They have Marilyn Manson and Insane Clown Possee Videos on there, but they won't show a South Park with some F-bombs in it? This is bullshit. Oh well, if you want to watch this heart warming cartoon, you can download it here.

A Christmas Miracle

2005-12-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

Bill O'Reilly tried to turn Christmas into an us vs them issue, but Beth and I have risen above and realized that while we don't have to agree on politics to be able to share that great feeling that this time of year can bring. So in honor of that, I wanted to post one of my favorite Christmas songs, Bob and Doug McKenzie's beautiful version of the 12 Days of Christmas. But I'm a loser with blogspot and can't upload MP3s. Luckily I remembered to check YouTube and found this great video for a Christmas song that really fits...

Want your kid to be the president of the USA?

2005-12-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

It's never too early to start grooming your child for greatness, and what better way with educational toys? You've heard of Baby Einstein, now check out Baby Bush! (via freakgirl)

Guess who else is in on the plot against Christmas?

2005-12-07T19:28:00.000-08:00

The plot against Christmas thickens. Besides the usual suspects of the liberals, the Jews, corporate America, Festivus-celebrating Seinfeld fans and Satan himself, there's somebody else who is conspiring to destroy Christmas. Who is this evil person, you ask? George W. Bush. That's right. The Christmas cards Dubya sent out to people do not mention Christmas, and the people who feel the need to use the most wonderful time of the year to further divide us as a nation are all pissed off about this!

"This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture," said William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

Bush "claims to be a born-again, evangelical Christian. But he sure doesn't act like one," said Joseph Farah, editor of the conservative Web site WorldNetDaily.com. "I threw out my White House card as soon as I got it."

ACLU-TV!

2005-12-07T12:42:00.000-08:00

The American Civil Liberties Union has teamed up with producer Robert Greenwald (Outfoxed, Uncovered, Walmart: the High Price of Low Cost) to put together a series of shows on our eroding civil liberties under the neocon regime! I have not yet watched any of these, but I sure look forward to it.

New Blog Renter

2005-12-07T05:59:00.000-08:00

It was a really tough choice for who to rent my blog to this week. I had 5 bids and all of them were of the highest caliber. The one I wound up going with is a video blog called Moving Pictures. The similarities between this blog and that are eerily similar. We use the same template (though his is modified in a much nicer way than mine in a tasty tribute to a certain Canadian geek rock trio), we both live in San Francisco (beers at Zeitgeist on me sometime), and while he isn't as in your face about it as I am, we're both big old liberals. So pay him a visit and check out some of his amazing videos by clicking on that button to the right.

I'd also like to give a shoutout to the first runner up to rent my blog this week, Grim Womyn. Her blog is thought provoking and possibly even more in your face than mine. And that post about the White Stripes is funny.

And what happened to Beth? I thought you were were going to put a bid in?

More on "Christmas Under Attack"

2005-12-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

As it has now been brought to my attention that the left and corporate America have for the first time ever joined forces so that they could victimize Christians by banning the celebration of Christmas, I have been paying very close attention to advertising and signage. While I didn't see a single tree lot advertising "holiday" trees, I have heard many mentions of "happy holidays" instead of Merry Christmas in commercials. It then occured to me that perhaps these retail giants might not be doing this as a coordinated attack on Christians, but because they want to make as much money as they possibly can from people who might celebrate some of the other holidays that come this time a year. Even Fox News is doing it, with their O'Reilly Factor Holiday Ornaments (at least they were until it swept across the blogosphere - they've since changed it to Christmas). Now, many of these folks who are pumping up this war against Christmas that isn't are the same people who support unfettered corporate capitalist policies. So, my question to those who keep on beating the drum that there is this supposed war against Christmas going on... why do you hate capitalism so much? You don't see a problem with a corporation maximizing profits by outsourcing, or union busting, or cutting benefits, but if they try to attract more customers you have your panties in a knot? And why are you even on this silly bandwagon? Because Bill O'Reilly and Charles Gibson whipped you into this idiotic mob mentality so they could get higher November ratings? Just how dumb are you people?

San Francisco Adventures

2005-12-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

So today I made a trip to the historic Haight Ashbury district. When I was a 19 year old deadhead living back East, this was the coolest place in the whole world as far as I was concerned. The first time I ever visited SF, I made it a point to go sit on the steps of 710 Ashbury where the Dead lived back in the late 60s, and I had to get my pic taken at the street sign of that famous intersection. Now that I'm a older and more jaded, the neighborhood has lost a bit of its appeal. There's a Gap on the corner of Haight and Ashbury, and the streets are crawling with crusty punks trying to sell short sacs of weed to the throngs of hippie tourists for inflated prices to give them an authentic taste of Summer of Love San Francisco. But there's one place that makes it worth braving all of these annoyances, and that place is Amoeba Records. It's the greatest music store anywhere! I had a crate of old vinyl that I was looking to sell, so I lugged it over to Amoeba this afternoon. They only took a few of them for 5 bucks, so I dragged the whole heavy crate down about 4 blocks to another used record store which wouldn't even look at them. So I asked the guy if I could leave it there and get my car so I didn't have to lug them back. I was not such a happy camper walking back to my car, but as I was getting close to the car I spotted something green on the ground. It's always great to find money lying on the ground, but this was even better as it was something else green. I found a baggie of fluffy orange haired kind buds lying right there on the sidewalk, probably about $20 worth! That made me feel a little bit better about wasting my afternoon in the Haight.

Also, there's a very interesting story on the cover of this week's SF Weekly. It's about this guy named Craig who has a list that you may have heard something about.

Another (holi)day, another wingnut

2005-12-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

You would think that a blog with a name like Merry Christmas would be happy and festive and joyous, like the holiday itself. Unfortunately, it's the rantings and ravings of another rightwingnut, not only perpetuating the myth that Christmas is under attack by the satanic minions of the left, but also getting really into the holiday spirit by rooting for Tookie's execution. She also celebrates the birth of Jesus with a heaping helping of cheerleading for Bush's war in Iraq and attacking those of us who don't think it's a particularly good idea for us to be in that war (you know, the majority of Americans at this point, not to mention the rest of the world). I can't wait to put on a Santa hat, throw on Elvis' Blue Christmas album, roast myself some chestnuts, pour a nice tall glass of eggnog, and settle in for more of this extra special holiday reading to get myself all whipped up into super Christmas spirit!

Like shooting fish in a barrel...

2005-12-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

Finding members of the extreme right religious lunatic frincge saying wingnutty stuff on blogs is not exactly the hardest thing to do. I usually ignore it, but occassionally I will come across a blogger so incredibly nutty that I just have to call them out and put them on display so that you, my dear readers, can point your fingers and laugh. Anyone who hangs around Blog Explosion is familiar with a blog called Machinery of Death. In battle of the blogs, he's got 2 wins (who voted for this guy twice???) to 168 losses and he tends to be the butt of many jokes in the shoutbox. In his latest screed of insanity, he goes after one of the greatest enemies of civilized society, Harry Potter:

When you allow a child to partake in the sick, filthy, disgusting Harry Potter phenomenon, you are essentially encouraging the child to rape, murder, and pillage in this uncertain world.

But wait, it gets better...

I am fearful of the outcomes of the Harry Potter books. Increases in masturbatory practices due to the "sexual tension" in the books; instilled beliefs that warlocks and witches can be anything other than evil; terrorism as a result of the insanity that comes out of the books; murderous rages.

Wait a second, did he predict terrorism because of these books? Last time I checked, the majority of terrorism in this world is being comitted by religious zealots, not fans of wizard fiction. But wait, the good doctor has a Hitler-riffic solution to all of this...

I suggest that we crowd into the streets and burn Harry Potter books and other paraphenalia

Fuckin' A! Let's burn us some books! Yeeeeeehaw! Please for the love of god let this guy be a parody. Like the God Warrior woman on Trading Spouses, this guy is not exactly good PR for people of faith.

Corrupt Republican Goes Down in Flames!

2005-11-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Watch this poor bastard cry like a baby when he's caught with his hand in the military industrial complex cookie jar! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! We are engaged in a war under the shakiest of pretenses thanks to assholes like this guy being bribed by these merchants of death. And now we have another piece of that house of cards crumbling.

New Blog Renter

2005-11-28T06:18:00.000-08:00

Let's all give a warm San Francisco Liberal welcome to our latest blog renter, TV Is My Drug of Choice. It's not entirely about TV though. I had to scroll down several posts before finding a TV-related entry, and it wasn't about some must-see sitcom but about a BBC documentary on Man's Best Friend (no, not dogs). Please support this blog's renters and pay her a visit. Go for the funky retro design and stay for the well written and humorous observations.

Dammit Ramsey, you're not helping here!

2005-11-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

Ramsey Clark, you're not doing us folks on the anti-war left any favors by joining the Saddam Hussein defense team. What the hell are you thinking? Granted, we had no business going to war in Iraq. The intelligence used to justify the invasion was quite badly doctored, and the highest levels of the Bush administration played some very dirty politics with anyone who dared to speak out about that. Those of us on the left who have been opposing this war since the getgo have been accused of everything from loving Saddam, to hating America. And your joining the defense team of a murderous US puppet dictator gone bad does not exactly ease that stereotype as the support for this war declines even amongst republicans. Like anyone, Saddam deserves a fair trial, and hopefully lots of evidence will come out in the trial to show that he was propped up for decades by the US (including many current members of the Bush administration) who enabled his use of chemical weapons against the Iranians and the Kurds. I'd love to see Donald Rumsfeld on the stand explaining that famous handshake photo. But even if it is your goal to bring down everyone in the US that helped turn Saddam into the monster he was, you do this at the expense of the entire anti-war movement. Could there have possibly been somebody else who could have taken that job who is not part of the anti-war movement? Johnny Cochrane might be dead, but Dershowitz is still around.

Another Leaked British Memo = More Bad News for Bush

2005-11-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought things couldn't look much worse for Bush, support for his war dropping even with members of his own party, members of his administration being indicted, people finally qestioning his sale of the war in Iraq... another British memo gets leaked that makes him look like an even bigger asshole than usual. If the Downing Street Memos weren't bad enough, this new one exposes his plan to bomb Al Jazeera's headquarters in Quatar (an allied country no less).

PRESIDENT Bush planned to bomb Arab TV station al-Jazeera in friendly Qatar, a "Top Secret" No 10 memo reveals.

But he was talked out of it at a White House summit by Tony Blair, who said it would provoke a worldwide backlash.

A source said: "There's no doubt what Bush wanted, and no doubt Blair didn't want him to do it." Al-Jazeera is accused by the US of fuelling the Iraqi insurgency.

The attack would have led to a massacre of innocents on the territory of a key ally, enraged the Middle East and almost certainly have sparked bloody retaliation.

A source said last night: "The memo is explosive and hugely damaging to Bush.

"He made clear he wanted to bomb al-Jazeera in Qatar and elsewhere. Blair replied that would cause a big problem.

"There's no doubt what Bush wanted to do - and no doubt Blair didn't want him to do it."

A Government official suggested that the Bush threat had been "humorous, not serious".

But another source declared: "Bush was deadly serious, as was Blair. That much is absolutely clear from the language used by both men."

Top 10 List, and The Boss Denied

2005-11-22T11:12:00.000-08:00

You've heard it all before. It's the top ten arguments that the neocons and their supporters continue to use to justify Bush's war in Iraq. One dillegent blogger has taken the time to carefully debunk each of these straw men. Thanks Peter Daou! Bookmark that post the next time you're ~~having a respectful debate with supporters of the war~~ wasting your time trying to talk some sense into these braindead neocon sheeple.

And speaking of braindead neocons, Senate Republicans are refusing to honor Bruce Springsteen in New Jersey. Forget the fact that he's embodied the American Dream by rising up from the working class to becoming the biggest musical icon ever to come from the Garden State (in your face, Bon Jovi!). Forget the fact that his songs are about the trials and tribulations of regular working people who are trying to get by in this world. Forget the Boss' contribution to American culture through his music. He supported John Kerry, so there's no honor for him. Could the Senate republicans be more petty? I think not.

The war that wasn't

2005-11-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

If you listen to the likes of Bill O'Reilly, you would think that there's a massive war being waged by the ACLU and others against Christmas. Yep, according the the right wing blowhard brigade, Christmas is under attack by from Walmart to public schools to town halls everywhere. Yep, in this country run by fundamentalist Christians who are pushing their agenda into every segment of our society, they are actually the victims! That would be a scary story, if it were actually true.

In fact, there is no war on Christmas. What there is, rather, is a burgeoning myth of a war on Christmas, assembled out of old reactionary tropes, urban legends, exaggerated anecdotes and increasingly organized hostility to the American Civil Liberties Union. It's a myth that can be self-fulfilling, as school board members and local politicians believe the false conservative claim that they can't celebrate Christmas without getting sued by the ACLU and thus jettison beloved traditions, enraging citizens and perpetuating a potent culture-war meme. This in turn furthers the myth of an anti-Christmas conspiracy.

The article is at Salon, so you'll need to sit through a quick ad to read it.

And speaking of religious crazies...

2005-11-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

Today I was in my favorite burrito joint in San Rafael looking through the latest issue of the SF weekly while waiting for the best carnitas burrito in the North Bay. For those outside the Bay Area, the SF Weekly is one of our free alternative weekly papers. They've been running a GREAT column called Infiltrator. Writer Harmon Leon infiltrates various events and organizations and writes about them. There was the one where he went to Applebees with White supremecists. Or the one where he tried applying for jobs as an ex con. Or the one where he attended an Amber Frey seminar at the Learning Annex. This week he was part of the Prayer Team at a Promise Keepers Rally in the East Bay.

Here's the Infiltrator Archive.

And now for something completely different...

2005-11-18T10:39:00.000-08:00

A little bit of Friday comic relief: Top 30 Facts about Chuck Norris.

A Democrat with Balls? Who'da thunk it?

2005-11-18T10:24:00.000-08:00

Finally, there's a democrat who had the cajones to really let the Bush administration have it for selling us into an unwinnable war based on lies and deceit.

The war in Iraq is not going as advertised. It is a flawed policy wrapped in illusion. The American public is way ahead of us. The United States and coalition troops have done all they can in Iraq, but it is time for a change in direction. Our military is suffering. The future of our country is at risk. We can not continue on the present course. It is evident that continued military action in Iraq is not in the best interest of the United States of America, the Iraqi people or the Persian Gulf Region.

Here's the video:

New Blog O' The Week

2005-11-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

Has it been a whole week already? Thanks again to the fabulous Bonanza Jellybean for renting space here. Just because she's not the featured blog anymore doesn't mean you should stop reading her. She's now on the blogroll so give her some love.

Our new blog renter is Bread and Circuses. It's a Salon.com blog, so you can bet your ass the politics are good. The writing is a great mix of politics and entertaining quotes of the day (this is my favorite QOTD). Click on that button on the right and make it worth the Blog Explosion credits, would ya?

Meet the Religious Right

2005-11-17T09:02:00.000-08:00

Want to see the sort of fundie wingnuts who Bush counts on for votes and caters to with his nominations? Look no further than this clip from Trading Spouses.

UPDATE: Check out this ebay auction (thanks to Gary Weiner)

He's making a list and checking it twice

2005-11-16T12:42:00.000-08:00

Santa? No. Bill O'Reilly. Apparently, he's planning on posting a little enemies list on his website of blogs who have taken issue with his sociopathic rhetoric. I look forward to making it onto that list. I looked at his MySpace blog and don't see any list yet.

We don't torture...

2005-11-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

...right?

George Bush Doesn't Like Black People

2005-11-15T09:16:00.000-08:00

This song has been going around for a while, but somebody just made a video for it. Check it out:

Worst. Speech. Ever.

2005-11-14T11:52:00.000-08:00

Did any of you happen to catch Bush's Veteran's Day speech? You know, the one where he attempted to kill the messengers who are finally waking up to the fact that he lied us into this war in Iraq. This speech has been called the worst in his presidency, and that's saying a lot because he has done a shitload of godawful specchifying throughout his presidency. Yes, this is worse than putting food on your family, making the pie higher, and Ob/Gyn's practicing their love. The fine folks at True Majority have taken this speech and added a ticker of facts to counter his lies. Here's the video.

And speaking of ridiculous speechifying by members of this criminal administration, did you hear the one about Karl Rove lashing out against imperialism? Could it be that he's talking about the war in Iraq? Perhaps our sweatshop-enabling trade policies with the third world? Don't be silly! Turd Blossom doesn't have a problem with that kind of imperialism! He thinks that judges who don't toe the neocon line are practicing "judicial imperialism," and that's what he railed against to those fair and balanced legal eagles at the Federalist Society.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

2005-11-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've been gone. Yes, I haven't posted. Yes, I've been busy.

Sorry.

But see what happens? I don't post, and...

"Scooter" gets indicted
Democrats practically sweep the nation in the elections
Bush's approval ratings drop faster than acid tabs in Berkeley
DeLay gets indicted
Frist gets himself in a situation where he's GONNA get indicted
Repubs turn on each other like the crew of the HMS Bounty
Cheney gets himself forever on the world's shit list by actively lobbying for torture
Dems grow a pair and shut down the Senate in what can only be described as a "Yeah, well, FUCK YOU TOO!" move
And Angelina Jolie is only getting hotter.

So, I mean, what? I didn't even NEED to do anything, say anything. They're fucking it up perfectly for themselves.

On the other hand, I highly recommend you find where you lie on the politcal compass, if only to make sure you're on the right blog.

Turns out I'm the Dalai Lama. Who knew?

A Big San Francisco FUCK YOU to Bill O'Reilly

2005-11-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, you know, if you want to ban military recruiting, fine, but I'm not going to give you another nickel of federal money. You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, "Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead."

And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead. - link

Hey Bill, my city doesn't support this war. Why should our kids go over there to die for Bush's lies? You support it? Send your damn kids. But you won't see too much of that going on. The supporters of this war are notorious chickenhawks. They just want other people's kids to go die for Haliburton's stock prices to go up. It's one thing to disagree with our sentiment, but to suggest that we should die for it is low, even for the likes of you.

And Pat Robertson, just because the death that you wish on Dover, PA is based on your crazed superstition doesn't make you any less of a douchebag for saying:

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."

"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said.

What prompted this fire and brimstone declaration, you ask? Just the fact that the folks in Dover want science taught in their science classes instead of superstition.

A warm San Francisco Liberal Welcome...

2005-11-09T20:34:00.000-08:00

I'd like to welcome my first blog renter. Good writing, sarcasm and profanity are all qualities that I look for in a blog, and you can find all of that and then some on Bonanza Jellybean. So go click her link to the right. Now. What are you waiting for?

California: Still Blue - Kansas: Still a Joke

2005-11-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

Nice try, Arnold, but your propositions failed. You tried to chip away a woman's right to choose and it failed. You tried to weaken teachers and nurses unions and it failed. You tried to gerrymander our congressionali districts to try to get more republican seats in the midterms and it failed. You tried to let drug companies offer some ripoff "discount" plan and it failed. Perhaps the most arrogant of all your props, you tried to get around the other two branches of state government when it comes to writing the state budget, and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster you failed. We neutered your ass at the polls yesterday, Arnie. If you had any political clout left from your record of chronic failure and your smears against the working people of this state, you sure don't have any left after wasting millions of dollars in your lame attempt to make our state a little more friendly to the Bush agenda. Good luck trying to get anything passed through the legislature. And good luck getting re-elected. Judging by his recent stunts, I would guess that Warren Beatty is probably gearing up to run against you. Besides being a solid progressive, he's a hell of a lot smarter and a better actor. Can Kindergarten Cop possibly take on Bullworth?

And in Red State news, Kansas has once again managed to make themselves the laughingstock of the world and it has nothing to do with the Snoop Zone, unless Snoop's real identity is the head of the State Board of Education. Kansans, if you want to get a real science education, might I suggest you go to college out of state, like perhaps here in the lovely Bay Area of California? Nobody in Berkeley will try to call their superstition a science and try to teach it to you alongside real science.

WTF?

2005-11-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

Totally non political, just a completely insane video. Fairly safe for work.

Bathroom Propaganda Wars

2005-11-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

I work in a rather unconventional office. It's part of a storage unit right on the Bay in Marin County. The building I'm in has our office, an apartment, and an office downstairs that the management uses as sort of a flophouse for cheap laborers from out of state. Right now, there's a family who could be considered on the loonie fringe of the fundamentalist religious right. One of them left this printout in the bathroom about some "religious science" that has to do with the fact that the end of the world is immanent because people are dreaming about it. My boss and I thought that it might be funny to print out a few brochures on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Last night, these brochures were obviously read, and laying on top was a new little tract called "The Atheist Test" which tries to use the banana as proof of intelligent design. While I find it a bit scary that in this day and age people still feel the need to believe in superstition to explain basic science, and while part of me really thinks that I should just live and let live, another part of me wants to fight these people since they are after all working towards legislating this crap and turning our country into a theocracy to rival the Taliban. So what's the next step? Can any of my dear readers suggest something I can print out to take on this silliness with a suitable sense of humor?

Rollin' down the hill, smokin' indo, sippin on Jesus Juice

2005-11-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind...

I heard about this on the news this morning and said to my wife "I'm getting a bottle of that! She wondered what kind of person would buy this stuff, to which I replied "people with a sick sense of humor like me, that's who." I'm glad to see that winemakers are finally starting to market to the likes of me. But why Merlot? Why not a shiraz, or a pinot? Like Paul Giamatti, I'm not drinking fucking merlot!

But enough about wine, Michael Jackson and Jesus... I need to urge all Californians who are reading this to get out there and vote today. Vote against props 73-78, and for props 79 and 80. The first batch of propositions are the wishlist of the extreme right and are all about redefining abortion in the state constitution, busting unions, redistricting to make California a red state in time for the midterm elections, and allowing a bad steroid brained actor to draft a state budget without any checks and balances from the other two branches of government. Also, San Franciscans should vote against Prop H, a citywide handgun ban that is downright Orwellian. I'm in favor of gun control to a certain degree, but this is ridiculous. A similar ban in Washington, DC was just found to be unconstitutional. And not that I really care what the likes of the NRA have to say about us, but enacting legislation that will actually confiscate legally owned handguns from private citicens will certainly be a huge fundraising push for them. So get out there and vote today. Terminate Arnold's fascist agenda, and don't get all knee jerky about guns. This has been a public service announcement from your friendly San Francisco Liberal.

WMDs in Iraq

2005-11-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

Looks like somebody finally found some evidence of WMDs in Iraq. Yes, I am talking about actual chemical weapons, used on civilians... but it's not what you think. Watch this shocking video of US troops using chemical weapons against the civilians of Falujah.

I'm back!

2005-11-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

Once again, I'm sorry about the lack of bloggy goodness lately. I was in Las Vegas shooting some video at the Vegoose festival. It was an incredible time! I saw some great bands and performers, enjoyed the backstage access, saw old friends and made new friends. Then I came home to busted computers that needed fixing, but they're back up and I'm almost back in the blogging game. The other thing that was really nice about being away for 4 days was that it was a refreshing vacation from politics. I did hear about Scooter's indictment, but nothing in any kind of detail. That put a smile on my face. I also heard a bit about the appointment of Scalia 2: Alito Boogaloo. No surprise there. Since I've been back, I've heard about WalMart's massive freakout over the upcoming documentary about them. Otherwise, I'm just racing around trying to catch up on a lot of missed work. I'll try to get back to this blog at some point with the usual sarcastic political bitching and moaning and the usual high fives with fellow lefties in the comments and the pointless pissing matches with the couple of right wingers who still think that their opinions are going to make the slightest bit of difference to my worldview.

In the meantime, here's a little something to torture yourselves with... Have you heard the leaked track from Mr. Britney? Bad does not even begin to describe it.

T'was the Night Before Fitzmas

2005-10-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Twas the night before Fitzmas, and in the White House
Every one was scared shitless, and Bush was quite soused
The indictments were hanging like Damoceles’ sword
As verminous oxen prepared to be gored

The perps were all sleepless, curled fetal in bed
While visions of prison cells loomed in each head
And Dick in his jammies, and George in his lap
Were sweating and swearing and looking like crap

When out on the web there arose such a clatter
The blogs and the forums were buzzing with chatter
Away to the PC Rove ran like a flash
He booted his browser and cleared out his cache

The rumors that flew through the cold autumn air
Made Dubya shiver with angry despair
When what to his horror-filled eyes did he spy?
A bespectacled man with a brown suit and tie!

With an impartial manner that gave Bush the shits
He knew in a moment it must be St. Fitz!
With unwavering voice, his indictments they came
He cleared out his throat and he called them by name:

Now Scooter, Now Libby,
Now Blossoming Turd,
Now Cheney, dear Cheney,
Yes, you are the third
To the bench of the court
Up the steps, down the hall
Now come along, come along,
Come along, all!

He then became silent, and went right to work
He filed the indictments and turned with a jerk
And pointing his finger at justice’s scale
Said, “The people be served, and let fairness prevail.”

He then left the room, to his team gave a nod
And the sound could be heard of a crumbling facade
And we all did exclaim, as he faded from sight
“Merry Fitzmas to all, and to all a good night!”

- © Daryl W. Permission granted to repost. Please include this attribution.

Who wants some cool stickers?

2005-10-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine works in a sign shop and has made a bunch of cool decals. You can go buy them here.

2K Why?

2005-10-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it's just been reported that the 2000th US soldier has died in Iraq and for what exactly? While we are wasting billions of dollars and thousands of lives, not a single WMD has been found, and while the neocons tout these elections and the new constitution, these are both happening under occupation by gunpoint which is not exactly "spreading democracy" as these clowns say they're doing over there. While some schools may have gotten a fresh coat of paint, the infastructure is crumbling. And now there's all sorts of fundimentalist Islamists who are viewing Iraq as a prime place to build a new theocracy. But it's not all bad news. At least Haliburton stocks are up!

Anyway, I urge you all to join one of the candlelight vigils tomorrow night somewhere near you. You Bush supporters, don't even bother commenting on this post. I usually encourage the futile attempt to debate issues between people whose minds are already made up, but this time I just don't want to hear it and you will be deleted.

Tonight on COPS...

2005-10-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

"To any sheriff or peace officer of the state of Texas, greetings, you are hereby commanded to arrest Thomas Dale DeLay and keep him safely so that you have him before the 331st Judicial District Court of Travis County,"

Tom DeLay, they're gonna haul your corrupt ass into a Texas and throw the book at you! Unfortunately, he will probably post bail instead of becoming some bubba's bitch in a Texas jail, but on the upside, we will have mugshots soon on The Smoking Gun. The other cool thing is that with DeLay going down and an indictment looming for some white house official over the Plamegate investigation, the house of cards that is the Bush misadministration is crumbling. Watching the neocons defend this gang of criminals to the very end will be entertaining to say the least. Watch the excuses pile up. Listen to all the talk of the ends justifying the means.